Hoooo mama, there's just nothing better to get your heart pumping on another dreary Monday like a rumor so vague you can't stop your brain from going into overdrive. When you're jonesing for a dose of pure speculatey goodness, detail is the enemy; sure, it might be informative to hear that "six independent sources plus internal company documents confirm the following comprehensive list of specifications, prices, and release dates," but it sure isn't terribly fun. What you need is a rumor that omits just about every detail possible, providing a framework upon which you can hang your own fevered imaginings while still opening up sky-wide areas of rumoric contemplation.

For instance, have you seen that Mac Rumors states that "reliable reports now indicate that Apple is poised to launch two new peripherals (not accessories) specifically for the 3rd Generation iPod owners"? They also report that "details of the items are unavailable at this time"-- and brother, they aren't kidding. Go ahead, ask us a question about them.

"So, what are they?"

No idea.

"When are they getting here?"

Can't say.

"How much will they cost?"

Too soon to tell.

"Are they bigger than a breadbox?"

Concentrate and ask again.

"Um... Are they bigger than a breadbox?"

Reply hazy, try again.

See? About the only question Mac Rumors does answer is "how many?" and the answer is apparently "two." Well, they also emphasize that these mystery products are "peripherals" and not "accessories," by which we take it to mean that they aren't purses, hats, belts, or shoes. Which is something of a shame, really, because we'd actually love a pair of kickin' co-branded Chuck Taylors with a FireWire port for musical feet. Other than that, though, the field is wide open; speculate away!

And by the way, you needn't feel compelled to restrict yourself to likely possibilities based on anything as dull as known fact; sure, the 3G iPods contained hidden but working RECORD functions that were only accessible in debug mode, but that doesn't have to mean that one of the peripherals is a microphone attachment or a stereo line-in device that'll ship with a firmware update to give the iPod full-fledged audio recording capabilities. Neither does it have to be a wireless remote, or Bluetooth headphones. With so few details available, it's just as likely that Apple plans to offer a FireWire Lava Lamp (for the ultimate in semi-portable Visualizers) or an iPod-dockable wood-fired brick pizza oven (for, uh, some reason). Go nuts. You'll feel better.

In fact, just in case you somehow exhaust all the possibilities of this vague "iPod peripherals" rumor before Friday, here's another one to carry you through to the weekend: Apple plans to do something with some company that may or may not involve some sort of thing in some fashion-- someday. Discuss.