Whoa whoa whoa, just take two steps back, there, Eustace. We could handle the rumors that Apple might actually try to make inroads into the enterprise market that consisted of more than a clever slogan. We even avoided a stroke (albeit narrowly) when at least some of the rumors turned out to be true and Apple unveiled the rack-mountable, we-mean-business Xserve. But, seriously, how are we supposed to react to Think Secret's claim that "Apple has formed a new Enterprise division aimed at courting corporate buyers"? A whole freakin' division? Pardon us for saying so, but this is not the act of a company who goes at the enterprise market half-assed. Who are these people, and what have they done with the real Apple?

Okay, sure, we've been preparing for this possibility at least slightly for years, now, since it wasn't hard to imagine that once it had matured a little, Mac OS X and its UNIX guts might well appeal to some factions in big business. But to hear that Apple is actually dedicating manpower to increasing its presence in the enterprise market, well, somehow it still comes as a shock. Apparently this secret subterranean race known as the "Enterprise Sales Group" consists of sixteen employees with a "former enterprise industry executive" as its leader, and once the team is done "quietly gearing up operations," Apple may well bring it forth into the light of day. In the meantime, they've already launched a guerilla campaign to get more Macs into big corporations; reportedly individual sales force reps have been calling up potential customers and offering them "the attention [they] deserve as... enterprise customer[s]," including lower prices and higher priority shipping.

Granted, sixteen employees aren't likely to pull in any gigantico-huge Fortune 500 accounts that order two thousand G5s every other month, but it's an uncharacteristically earnest move on Apple's part as far as a push into enterprise is concerned. And we get the sense that Apple realizes that baby steps are necessary; any massive leap into the enterprise market (which traditionally views Apple as a purveyor of "those expensive toys that the freaks in Graphic Design play with while the rest of us get real work done, consarn it") is likely doomed to failure. Still, if these sixteen brave souls are successful at insinuating themselves into several well-placed corporations (and reportedly they're already "exceeding expectations"), who's to say that next year they won't number thirty-two? And 100 in 2005?

Apple courting enterprise: creepy stuff. What's next, Apple going after hardcore gamers? (Now that would give us a stroke.)