Whoo, just in time! We had been suffering through a killer bout of courtroom drama withdrawal recently, but never let it be said that the universe doesn't provide; just about the time we started hallucinating a baby with Steve Jobs's head crawling across our ceiling, faithful viewer Michael McKinney gave us our fix by informing us that Apple is once again being sued-- this time for trademark infringement. Yes, folks, TIBCO Software, Inc. has laid the legal smackdown on Apple for allegedly swiping the name "Rendezvous."

Rendezvous, as you may recall, is the networking magic introduced with Mac OS X 10.2 that brings AppleTalk's wondrous auto-discovery of network devices to the TCP/IP protocol. The problem, as you are all well aware, is that TIBCO had been using the trademark "Rendezvous" for its "industrial-strength messaging tool that allows application developers to build scalable distributed applications" long before Mac OS X came on the scene-- since 1994, to be exact, which a quick search through the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office web site will confirm.

TIBCO might be on to something, here, because Apple's Rendezvous is distantly related to TIBCO's; both involve software and the movement of data over networks, which might be ruled enough of a link to support claims of potential customer confusion, particularly when TIBCO spins its Rendezvous as "software... creating interoperability between diverse computer systems." For the record, Apple's trademark is registered in the categories of "computer operating system software, computer utility software and computer software for use in developing other computer software," not protective eyewear or SUVs, so it's going to be tough for the company to argue that its product is a whole 'nother ball of wax.

Now, as you know, we typically side with Apple in these conflicts, but this time not only are we glad for dramatic reasons that TIBCO opened a can of litigational whoop-ass, but we're also sorta hoping that Apple chokes on it. We, like most of you, only shelled out the cash for Mac OS X 10.2 in the first place specifically because we assumed it was going to allow us to build scalable distributed applications with TIBCO's industrial-strength messaging tool; after all, what else could "Rendezvous" mean to the general public? Imagine our surprise when we discovered that Jaguar didn't include a copy of TIBCO's universally-known software. Shame on Apple for taking advantage of a household name that way!

Indeed, TIBCO alleges that Apple stole the trademark on purpose, "with the intention to trade on TIBCO's goodwill and harm TIBCO's business." Ahhhh, we see. So Apple's diabolical plan was apparently to sell lots of copies of Jaguar by exploiting the public's widespread knowledge of and love for TIBCO's product, while simultaneously seeking to stick it to TIBCO as part of Apple's years-long campaign to take the universally-loved multinational conglomerate down a notch or two. It's all so clear now.

Since TIBCO (the only company with a brand awareness greater than that of Nike, Coca-Cola, and Sony combined) clearly has an open and shut case, here, the obvious solution, we think, would be for Apple to settle out of court by agreeing to keep referring to its technology as Rendezvous, but start pronouncing the name "ren-dezz-voose." See? All's well that ends well.

All hail TIBCO!