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BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY (10/8/03)
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Speaking of lawsuits, does anyone know if Spike Lee has sued Apple over Panther's box design yet? 'Cause if the guy's going to get all litigious over a network calling itself "Spike TV," we'd be stunned if he didn't try to nail Apple for capitalizing on the success of his 1992 biopic Malcolm X, too. There must be a trade dress suit in there somewhere, right? Customer confusion, and all that? Of course, it works both ways, kids; remember, if you pick up your copy of Panther in the DVD aisle of Best Buy, double-check that you're actually buying software. And we're pretty darn sure that Panther won't be sold at Suncoast Video.
That said, does anyone else think it's a little odd that Apple's marketing department seems to have gone a little heavy with the "black power" motif with this software release? Think about it for a second: in addition to coming in a box that's darn reminiscent of the packaging of Malcolm X, said box is black, which, when coupled with the software's name, takes on a not-so-subtle second meaning. Black Panthers, anyone? Oh, sure, it could be a coincidence, but what if Apple really is intentionally tapping into that whole "wronged minority's struggle for freedom and equality" dynamic?
There are parallels, after all; Mac users have always been treated like second-class citizens of the high tech society. Now, before everyone gets out the flamethrowers and sets them to "Crispy Critter," we want to make it perfectly clear that we certainly don't mean to imply that centuries of slavery, segregation, and racial oppression are somehow on par with Mac users never getting a port of Half Life; clearly the amplitudes are off by a few thousand orders of magnitude.
Nevertheless, the vectors are similar enough in direction for certain parallels to resonate-- Mac "ghettos" in computer superstores, for instance, instead of separate drinking fountains. And given that Apple's marketing department has formerly dared to sell its brand with the image of Rosa Parks on the side of a bus, it's not out of the question that, on a subliminal level, we're mean to be associating Panther with a means of radical revolt against our longtime Wintel oppressors and the act of reclaiming our own. We half-expect that when we show up at our local Apple retail store for the ominously-named Night of the Panther event, we'll be handed weapons to prepare for the coming revolution. If Rodney O. Lain were alive to see this, we'd most likely have gotten the bestest iBrotha column ever.
Nah... never mind. Apple would never be so tasteless as to trivialize the civil rights movement by likening it to Macintosh vs. Windows. Still, the revolution will not be televised! (It might be webcast, though.)
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 10/8/03 episode: October 8, 2003: Apple finally admits it: Panther will spring in just over two weeks' time, so start saving now. Meanwhile, Panther's packaging may reveal Apple's obsession with certain radical civil rights figures of the '60s, and conflicting rumors have the townfolk all confoozled as to what to expect when new displays surface next month...
Other scenes from that episode: 4255: Soon Comes The Spending (10/8/03) Here at last, here at last, thank Steve almighty, it's here at last-- not Panther itself, mind you, but official word on when it'll finally arrive. After faithful viewer Monkey Boy hepped us to the Apple Store's not-so-mysterious "We'll Be Back Soon" status earlier this morning, it was faithful viewer jeffNOTjon who noted the formal press release with the good news: yes, the rumors were correct, and the next of the Mac OS X felines will indeed be padding onto store shelves and into our hearts on Friday, October 24th at 8PM. Great news, right?... 4257: The Heavens Weep Blood (10/8/03) Meanwhile, if you're wondering how you're going to kill time until Panther becomes available on the 24th, why not follow that epic battle between titans known as the (dun dun dun dunnnnnnn!) Clash of the Rumors Sites? Yes, Clash of the Rumors Sites, everyone's favorite distraction; marvel as 100-foot goliaths cross Big Scary Swords and trail vast swaths of terror across the night sky! Tremble in awe at the prospect of godlike toothy entities tearing at each other's colossal throats as the fate of worlds upon worlds hangs in the balance! Reel with cosmic horror as one rumors site says one thing, and another says something vaguely contradictory!...
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