Admit it: given how much like an honest-to-goodness Stevenote yesterday's music press event turned out to be, you regret not blowing off work and heading down to your local Apple retail store to catch the show live via satellite. You figured it was just going to be a low-key affair, introducing iTunes for Windows and maybe a voice-recording accessory for the iPod. Heck, you thought, Steve might not even show up for something so relatively "basic," and then you'd wind up standing in a store gawking at Schiller for an hour or something. So instead of bathing in the healing glow of a geosynchronously-transmitted Jobsian Reality Distortion Field amid the rapturous swoon of your fellow Macfolk, you ended up tallying sales figures all afternoon, or making bagels, or whacking federal witnesses or whatever. Bummer.

Welp, fear not, because now you can capture a good 60% of the Steve Jobs Experience after the fact. Just as we predicted, a QuickTime version of yesterday's gala music event has now surfaced at Apple's web site, and we feel a lot better now that the gaping pit in our souls has been filled with a little extra Steveness. (Yes, "gaping pit." For the record, Apple is dead wrong when it asserts that "Hell froze over." Seeing as both the Cubs and the Red Sox flubbed their shots at the World Series, Hell is consequently just as mosty-toasty as ever. On the plus side, at least the apocalypse has been averted for another year.)

Yes, thrill to nearly ninety minutes of classic Steve, strutting his stuff just as if he had been working an Expo crowd. It was all there: the mock turtleneck. The hands-on demo, complete with technical glitch. (Was that big band music that started playing when he clicked the "60s Music" Smart Playlist?) The "one more thing." A parade of announcements so long and extravagant, the execs at Macy's are considering cancelling next month's Thanksgiving Day gig because yesterday's act was "too tough to follow."

Truth be told, though, we still haven't watched yesterday's entire presentation-- we had to take a break when Steve began his iTunes demo on a Wintel because we witnessed a sight that sent us screaming into the night. Yes, we know that we were watching it in the daytime; that's how freakin' scary it was. Faithful viewer toby provided a link to a still of the most frightening image known to man, but please note that if you dare to gaze upon its infinite horrors, AtAT cannot be held responsible for any physical, mental, or emotional distress you may suffer as a result. Keep the heart pills handy. (A nearby change of underwear might be useful, too.)