Erratum time! We don't often make mistakes here at AtAT (well, actually, we make scads of 'em, all the time-- so in fact, we suppose there's even one preceding this parenthetical), but when we do, we try to put things right, as long as there's nothing good on TV. That is our commitment to quality. Well, yesterday we noted that Scotland had banned Apple's G5 commercial because of the ad's claim that the Power Mac G5 is "the world's fastest, most powerful personal computer." (We can get away with playing fast and loose with unprovable superlatives here in the U.S., but evidently consumers and marketers in certain other parts of the world have yet to arrive at a mutual understanding that all advertising is fraud.) It turns out that we were wrong.

While the ad is banned in Scotland, Scotland didn't do the banning: faithful viewer jc was the first of several to point out that the Independent Television Commission is not a Scottish organization, and is actually based in London. (Contrary to widespread U.S. belief, London is not in Scotland, nor is Scotland a suburb of Cleveland. You could have knocked us over with a feather.) Unfortunately for Apple, the ITC's arms are also somewhat longer than the length and breadth of Scotland alone, and so the Miserable Pack of Lies™ that is the G5 commercial is therefore banned from being broadcast anywhere in the entire United Kingdom.

That makes the whole scenario just a wee bit stranger. Longtime viewers will recall that it took Apple half a decade or so to get over a peevish bout of flagrant anti-UK policy, the cause of which remains buried in the mists of time, but during which Apple routinely cancelled UK trade show appearances, eliminated the British-localized Mac OS, and laid off British personnel in suspicious quantities. Why the UK would risk a return of said behavior by banning Apple's only Power Mac commercial from its airwaves is beyond us; we can only assume that the ITC knew not what sort of retaliation it might be inviting when it instituted the ban. Rest assured that the Wrath of Steve shall be subtle but terrible.

Or maybe not. Since the objectionable portion of the G5 ad is just Jeff Goldblum's voiceover, it's a simple (and cheap) matter for Apple to record a new one that's less offensively boastful, thereby rendering the existing ad UK-friendly without having to produce an entirely new spot, so maybe Steve will choose to show mercy. For the UK voiceover, in place of the problematic phrase "world's fastest, most powerful personal computer," may we suggest something less likely to be challenged? Perhaps something along the lines of "world's aluminumest, most perforated personal computer." Catchy!