January, March, Whatever (11/20/03)
SceneLink
 

Say, remember a couple of months ago when IBM mentioned its plans to start shipping 90-nanometer processors by the end of the calendar year? And remember how we fomented a rabid wild-eyed frenzy of violent anticipation among our viewers by blithely and irresponsibly leading you to assume that said year-end 90-nanometer chips would include updated G5s that would propel the Power Mac ever deeper into its current role as the darling of the tech set? Well, um... never mind.

That was just... that was a typo. Yeah. That's it.

Not that G5s won't hit 90 nanometers at some point, of course, so don't go bludgeoning yourself with the Disappointment Stick, or anything. It's just that the "end of the year" thing isn't really playing out the way we'd hoped. It turns out that IBM is slated to discuss 90-nanometer G5s at the IEEE International Solid State Circuits Conference in mid-February, and chipmakers at those shindigs generally talk about their coolest, most cutting-edge technology (translation: "stuff we haven't shipped yet and probably won't ship for a while"), so when Uncle Steve starts pulling surprises out of his hat at January's Macworld Expo, the odds are pretty good that 90-nanometer G5s won't be among them.

However, there's still plenty to grin about in that manic and unsettling manner that keeps people from sitting next to you on the bus. AppleInsider reports that there still might be a Power Mac speed bump in January, with processors running at speeds as high as 2.5 GHz-- albeit in the same old 130 nanometer flavor. What's more, IBM's 90-nanometer G5s ought to ship really soon after the ISSCC gig, so we can expect "second generation Power Mac G5 units" (the G2 G5?) "by early March of next year." And if you're a just a little too pessimistic and/or reasonable to believe that Apple would ship a new Power Mac just two months after a significant speed bump, well, AppleInsider does leave the door open for dual-2.5 GHz G5s to hold off appearing until March's big product rev. Besides, what's a couple more months to slavering Mac fans? The dual-2.0 GHz G5 is still plenty competitive with the fastest personal computers the competition has to offer-- and after the Motorola G4 years, frankly, we can do two months standing on our heads.

Incidentally, if big, hulking slabs of perforated aluminum sitting stationary on a desk don't get your motor running, there's good news for your inner road warrior, too: as pointed out by faithful viewer Josef Schneider, The Register notes that IBM's 90-nanometer G5 presentation at ISSCC will include discussion of that chip's new "PowerTune" technology, which can automatically scale the processor's voltage and dial down its clock speed for power-saving purposes-- and if a smaller-process chip with built-in power management functions isn't one Gigantor step closer to the holy grail of a PowerBook G5, we don't know what is. March ahoy!

 
SceneLink (4346)
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 11/20/03 episode:

November 20, 2003: Rumor has it that the 90-nanometer G5s will find their way into shipping Macs come March. Meanwhile, word gets out that service providers making certain minor repairs to Power Mac G5s are required to replace the entire enclosure (at $475 a pop), and security camera footage raises a question for the ages: who's the worse dancer, Ballmer or Gates?...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4347: "Eh, Better Replace It All" (11/20/03)   Uh-oh, there goes Apple, "drawing ire" again. It's no secret that third-party Apple resellers and service providers have had a lot to complain about in recent years as far as policies from the Mothership are concerned; indeed, many of them point to signs that Apple wants them all to quit and go away, leaving the entire market for itself-- signs like increasingly-unreasonable reseller contracts, Apple's own online and retail stores seemingly getting first dibs on high-demand new products, and Steve Jobs turning up to reseller meetings wearing a t-shirt that says "WE WISH YOU'D ALL QUIT AND GO AWAY."...

  • 4348: Hey, Put 'Em BOTH On Stage (11/20/03)   Oh, sure, there's a lot of stuff going on right now that's far more important and on-topic than what we're about to discuss, but if you don't hear it from us, you may not hear it at all-- and that'd be a crime. So brace yourselves, kiddies, because the Battle of the Billionaire Crappy Dancers is heating up down Redmond way, and things will get ugly before this is all over...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1285 votes)
Apple store at Amazon

As an Amazon Associate, AtAT earns from qualifying purchases

DISCLAIMER: AtAT was not a news site any more than Inside Edition was a "real" news show. We made Dawson's Creek look like 60 Minutes. We engaged in rampant guesswork, wild speculation, and pure fabrication for the entertainment of our viewers. Sure, everything here was "inspired by actual events," but so was Amityville II: The Possession. So lighten up.

Site best viewed with a sense of humor. AtAT is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Keep hands inside car at all times. The drinking of beverages while watching AtAT is strongly discouraged; AtAT is not responsible for damage, discomfort, or staining caused by spit-takes or "nosers."

Everything you see here that isn't attributed to other parties is copyright ©,1997-2024 J. Miller and may not be reproduced or rebroadcast without his explicit consent (or possibly the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but we doubt it).