Lost in the Mail? (2/13/98)
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In a snub that will echo throughout the ages (or at least until we get distracted by a bright, shiny object), Republican Senator Orrin Hatch has neglected to invite Steve Jobs to his committee on competition and the Internet. The splendiforous AppleLinks points us to a Reuters story that shows Hatch inviting Bill Gates of Microsoft, Scott McNealy of Sun, and Jim Barksdale of Netscape.

Of course, putting those three in a room together sounds like a deliciously dangerous proposal. McNealy's personal hobby is publicly lambasting Gates and Microsoft, and of course there's the tiny issue of the Microsoft-Sun lawsuit involving the corruption of the Java standard. And the third side of this hate triangle is Barksdale, whose company is widely rumored to be ripe for a buyout following a tremendously poor quarter after Microsoft's "interesting" competitive practices stole market share from Netscape so quickly its personified head spun like a top. Catfight, anyone? We bet it's going to make the Jerry Springer show look like Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. So how come no Steve Jobs, who could act as a referee, or least provide sparkling color commentary?

Poor Steve... we can just imagine him sitting at home, heartbroken at not being invited to the party. Just when we thought we had plenty of reasons to dislike Senator Hatch, the generous man's gone and given us another. Whatta sweet guy. Happy Valentine's Day, Orrin. Smoochies!

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 2/13/98 episode:

February 13, 1998: Sexy new Powerbooks are preparing to slink into the laptop market and rule the roost. Meanwhile, Senator Hatch prepares a technological catfight between Gates, McNealy, and Barksdale, but Steve Jobs isn't invited. And the Info Vacuum surrounding Cupertino continues to, er, suck...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 447: Powerful Powerbooks (2/13/98)   If you're as big a fan of Apple's Powerbooks as we are, you've probably been following the ongoing story about Apple's new high-end "Wall Street" line at sites like O'Grady's PowerPage. But even if you haven't, you'll hear all about these new beauties soon enough; a recent CNET article signals the advent of the "mainstream" press that will cover the next generation of Apple laptops. According to CNET, all of the new Powerbooks will be based on the same logic board when they are unveiled this spring...

  • 449: No Comment at This Time (2/13/98)   You just have to love the informational vacuum surrounding Apple these days, which is so strong it's just gotta be an Oreck. Whenever any "early news" sneaks out of Cupertino, Apple's incredibly efficient official naysayers immediately go on record to suck the data right back inside the company walls...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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