Attention, Jobsian conspiracy theorists: we know your cup runneth over today, but be careful how quickly you connect the dots and make your mental connections, because you don't want to fuse a synapse. Most health insurance won't cover that sort of thing.

Try to start slowly by grounding yourselves in the basics. Steve Jobs was linked with then-Disney board member Stan Gold in CEO Michael Eisner's mind, because Eisner allegedly called them both "Shiite Muslims"; Stan Gold quit the board after Eisner chased out Walt's nephew Roy Disney, and Stan and Roy teamed up to try to get Eisner fired. Meanwhile, Steve publicly ended months-long negotiations, making Eisner the Bad Guy™ for losing billions in future Pixar revenue, not long before Stan admitted that Steve might be a perfect match for Eisner's job. Steve kept up the pressure by zinging Eisner repeatedly during Pixar's earnings conference call, and then, seemingly from nowhere, Comcast made Eisner look even worse by publicly announcing a buyout offer that Eisner had privately rejected.

Needless to say, it hasn't been a good few months for poor ol' Mikey. But the original question still before you is this: Has Steve been colluding with Roy-'n'-Stan to get Eisner pitched? And now there's a new question to tangle your brain: Was Comcast in on it, too? Because we've already heard industry folks opine that if Eisner leaves Disney, Pixar might come back, and now faithful viewer Simon Lepik-Wookey tells us that Roy Disney is saying the same thing. A Reuters article quotes Roy at a press conference as saying that "I have reason to believe that if Michael Eisner were gone, you could do a deal with Pixar on acceptable terms. I think (Comcast) or others could probably do that if Michael is gone."

There's no question that the Comcast offer is one more thing making Eisner look bad, and now we've got Roy Disney telling investors that if they approve the Comcast merger and get Eisner canned, all that future Pixar revenue just might come flooding back. How... convenient. Especially since, as faithful viewer Reid Hunnicutt informs us, the New York Post is reporting that Time Warner may be putting together a bid for Disney, too-- possibly at Steve's urging: "Meanwhile, Pixar Animation Studios' Steve Jobs was understood to be in active discussions with parties, including cable operators, about putting together a team to emerge as a potential white knight for the Mouse House." So Steve is running around behind the scenes trying to get megaconglomerates to counterbid for Disney, hmmmm? And who's to say he didn't give Comcast the idea for the takeover bid in the first place?

Oh, heck-- we might as well take this all the way into the realm of the truly paranoid. What if Steve orchestrated the whole falling out between Stan-'n'-Roy and Eisner that started this entire mess, either to secure better terms for the eventual Pixar contract renewal or to clear Eisner's CEO seat for the kiester of Steve himself? After all, it's hard to find a better poster boy for a major anti-Eisner push than the nephew of lovable Walt. Everyone's a puppet in a show of Steve's own making. We can hardly wait to see how it all ends; we figure the official job title of "Emperor of All Media" will figure prominently.

By the way, Disney's still going to buy Apple any day now. Just you wait.