Hey, kids-- it's Friday the 13th! Quick, everyone put on a hockey mask and grab something sharp! (Oooh, slashy.) Yes, today's the day when everyone has a little Jason Voorhees inside just itching to get out, so celebrate one of the longest-running and most ludicrous (Seriously, did you see Jason X? Puh-lease) horror franchises in history by pretending to eviscerate someone you love.

Note that we said pretend. It's a bad time to go psycho on your loved ones for real, especially since tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Geez, who stuck those two days back-to-back, hmmm? Hallmark must not be pleased.

Anyway, the horror flick Mac fans really should be concentrating on today isn't Friday the 13th Part Whatever, but rather An American Werewolf in London-- or an American something in London, at any rate. Faithful viewer Simon Lepik-Wookey kicked us a Times Online article which reveals a scenario that's anything but horrific: you know how Apple's retail stores finally made the jump overseas last year with the flagship store in Tokyo? Well, apparently Apple is finally ready to unleash some retaily goodness on the British, because the company has reportedly made a deal for 20,000 square feet on Regent Street in London, where it'll establish yet another "giant flagship store" with the multiple stories and the glass staircases and all that other happy stuff.

And even over three thousand miles away, we can hear the question on the lips of all Mac-using Brits: "When?" Well, that's the good news; whereas Apple took several years to open its flagship stores in Chicago and New York, the Times reports that the London location "is expected to open in time for Christmas." That must come as a breath of fresh air for UK-based Apple fans who have been waiting forever and a fortnight for a European iTunes Music Store. (Then again, we notice that the Times didn't say which Christmas, so maybe you shouldn't get your hopes up just yet.)

So whaddayathink, people? Remember, looking strictly at the evidence, Apple has traditionally been pretty hostile to the UK, and the UK has recently gotten a bit hostile right back. So what's with the super-posh London store all of a sudden, and why the big rush to get it up and running? Is Steve just bucking for a knighthood? Maybe the news that Bill Gates will soon be a Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire really got on Steve's nerves. Personally, though, we harbor our own suspicions about the whole Gates-getting-knighted thing; we can't help wondering whether the purpose of the Queen's invitation for Bill to kneel before her while she taps a sword on his shoulders was made just to get his neck in the vicinity of a length of razor-sharp steel. We keep picturing the blade hovering over his shoulder, the Queen saying "I've reinstalled XP one too many times, William!" and when Bill glances up, he sees she's wearing a hockey mask, there's a swishing noise... and then everything is darkness. We guess we'll know for sure when a Google News search for "queen decapitates gates" pulls up a nonzero result.

Memo to Steve: if you do receive an invitation to knighthood, it may not be a thank-you gesture for this London store you're building. Wear a chainmail turtleneck to the ceremony just in case.