Aiiiieeeeee, it burns! IT BURNS!!! After months 'n' months 'n' months of speculation that Apple was due to ship speed-bumped Power Mac G5s "any day now," we'd finally spent the weekend coming to grips with the fact that the possibility of a "March 26-ish" intro wasn't looking good. That date, you probably recall, was based largely on several Apple promotions-- both in the U.S. and abroad-- that appeared to be Power Mac inventory-clearing attempts and which all expired on the 26th or 27th of this month. But recently we've heard a bunch of murmurs that Apple isn't planning to unveil any new hardware until April, and so we finally came to terms with what we thought was a respectably conservative time frame for the new models' introduction-- namely, the "at or around NAB" date that's been tossed around the rumor mill lately.

And then Apple pulled a move that is the rumorological equivalent of pouring a mug of boiling TABASCO sauce in someone's crotch.

Prepare to wince, folks, because faithful viewer Oded Helman was the first to inform us that Apple has just launched another promotion: Brilliant Savings, which offers customers a $500 rebate if they purchase any Power Mac G5 together with a 23-inch Cinema HD Display. That is actually one sweet deal, and it's one we'd be tempted to take ourselves if 1) we could somehow convince ourselves that no one can survive with dual 800 MHz G4s and 22 inches anymore, 2) we could bear the clashing of the aluminum G5 with the retro clear-plastic-'n'-pinstripes of the display, and 3) we had a few grand sitting around collecting dust (all our assets are tied up in Florida land deals and pyramid schemes). Oh, and also if 4) we didn't know there are faster G5s and aluminum-clad displays just around the corner.

Although, you know what, we might be able to take care of that last point with no real trouble, because have you checked the dates on that new promo? The freakin' thing lasts until June 26th. And since Apple's fiscal quarter just ended, it's not trying to squeeze a few more Power Mac sales in at the last second; this promotion sure seems to be an inventory-reducing move, aiming to flush the channel before Apple starts shipping new Power Macs and displays. But June 26th? Can we seriously be expected to believe to that Apple doesn't plan to ship new G5s and displays for another three months? Because, you know, we'll have to take a cheese grater to our scalps or something if that's really what this means.

The more we think about it, the more possible-- and depressing-- it sounds. For one thing, there was that rumor just a few days ago that Power Macs might be delayed until "as far off as June or even July." And then there's the fact that June 26th is just two days before the start of WWDC, which, in recent years, has taken the place of the summer Macworld Expo as the event at which Apple likes to show off all its latest goodies. At last year's WWDC, Steve unveiled the original G5s-- and promised a boost to 3 GHz "within twelve months." So maybe Apple's skipping the whole interim 2.5ish GHz system and instead looking to jump straight to 3.0 GHz at WWDC exactly one year later.

And really, is that so depressing? Sure, it would mean that Power Mac sales would stay at their currently disappointing levels for a whole 'nother quarter, but if Apple did ship a 2.5ish GHz speed bump now, what are the odds that it'd really ship another revision just three short months later? In one sense, introducing new Power Macs now would almost be an admission that the "3 GHz shipping in 12 months" thing isn't gonna happen. So we can stand the idea of no new Power Macs until the end of June (ouchful though it may be), as long at those June Power Macs are the real 3.0 GHz deal. Fingers crossed.