1 Guy, 2 Hats, No Waiting (6/14/04)
SceneLink
 

Ah, the many dangers of wearing two hats at once: providing two targets instead of one when the local kids run amuck during snowball season; drawing the potentially violent ire of members of the international Men Without Hats fan club; even running afoul of federal Excessive Head Apparel legislation. But trust us-- even a fine, a beating, and a slushball to the temple combined is nothing compared to the inner turmoil Steve Jobs must be feeling as he tries to balance his Apple hat alongside his jaunty little Pixar chapeau (despite easily having the head geography to accommodate both). Being CEO of two companies is surely tough enough without those occasional situations that pit one side against the other.

Case in point: remember way back when Disney CEO Michael Eisner revealed himself to be tragically unhip when he interpreted "rip" in Apple's "Rip. Mix. Burn." ad campaign to mean "rip off" instead of "encode legally according to fair use as allowed by copyright law"? Ol' Mikey went howling to Congress about how computer manufacturers like Apple were flat-out encouraging digital piracy in their very ads. And of course Steve was far more polite than he could or even should have been about Eisner's ignorance when countering this charge in the press... over and over and over again. But that was then and this is now (or a reasonable facsimile thereof), and according to the Wall Street Journal, Steve's been making noises of a spookily Eisnerian bent of late.

See, it's one thing when the piracy's all about music, because as we all know, "Apple isn't in the music business." (Shhh. We know, but Beatles lawyers are everywhere. Shut up.) But Pixar, on the other hand, is very much in the movie business, and with Pixar box office returns in the billions and DVD sales accounting for a vast chunk of the company's income, piracy is a serious concern. That's why Steve had to decide which hat to wear more prominently at "a recent private meeting with Hollywood studio heads and tech czars"-- and his Hollywood hat came out on top in the end: "Mr. Jobs argued that studios shouldn't license their movies for use in the planned 'high-definition DVD' format until Hollywood is assured by the tech industry that the discs can't be copied" and "even suggested that high-definition DVD burners not be bundled with computers at all." Yipes!

In other words, it's possible that Macs may not be available with HD-DVD-R SuperDuperdrives when such things exist, because Steve's worried that computer owners would just dupe off a zillion copies of The Incredibles and there'd be more bootleg burns of Pixar flicks floating around than AOL CD-ROMs. Which is a kick in the pants, really, because his Apple hat surely makes him aware that honest Mac users would love to buy Macs with SuperDuperdrives for burning their own high-def iMovied creations using hiDVD. So here's hoping that when Steve yells about adequate copy prevention measures for copyrighted HD-DVD content, the tech industry takes him seriously. And the tech industry, obviously, includes Apple, too, which just makes the whole thing a little too weird; talking to yourself is one thing, but yelling at yourself is sketchy no matter how many hats you wear.

 
SceneLink (4755)
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 6/14/04 episode:

June 14, 2004: It's Euro iTMS Eve-- and both Napster and OD2 are scrambling to steal a little thunder. Meanwhile, Steve Jobs sides with Hollywood in a content-vs.-tech standoff over DVD copying, and photos of the new G5's liquid cooling system surface in all its hose-ridden glory...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4754: One Last Dance Before War (6/14/04)   Oooh, can'tcha just taste the excitement? There's only a day left before Apple's big London music event, and while it's certainly the Europeans who are giddiest (what with the long-awaited prospect of reasonably-priced song downloads from a service that doesn't make you want to hurl-- and the accompanying thrill of imminent personal bankruptcy), the rest of the Apple-watching world is also holding its collective breath, wondering what else might be in Steve's Magic Bag just itching to be unleashed upon the general populace in a day or so...

  • 4756: Mmmmmm, Supplements! (6/14/04)   Attention, irrepressible optimists: we know you're out there, and we know that you're still undaunted by official Apple spokespeople telling the press not to expect a PowerBook G5 anytime soon and "certainly not before the end of the year."...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1287 votes)
Apple store at Amazon

As an Amazon Associate, AtAT earns from qualifying purchases

DISCLAIMER: AtAT was not a news site any more than Inside Edition was a "real" news show. We made Dawson's Creek look like 60 Minutes. We engaged in rampant guesswork, wild speculation, and pure fabrication for the entertainment of our viewers. Sure, everything here was "inspired by actual events," but so was Amityville II: The Possession. So lighten up.

Site best viewed with a sense of humor. AtAT is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Keep hands inside car at all times. The drinking of beverages while watching AtAT is strongly discouraged; AtAT is not responsible for damage, discomfort, or staining caused by spit-takes or "nosers."

Everything you see here that isn't attributed to other parties is copyright ©,1997-2024 J. Miller and may not be reproduced or rebroadcast without his explicit consent (or possibly the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but we doubt it).