We know you're expecting the traditional installment of Wildly Off-Topic Microsoft-Bashing Day, but do we really need to bother? It seems that the federal government's taking care of that whole angle for us this week; as faithful viewer JD MacMan points out, the EE Times reports that the Department of Homeland Security has officially recommended that everyone try "using browsers other than Microsoft Corp.'s Internet Explorer" for "security reasons." Huh? How can this be? As we all know from the incisive reporting of TechWorld, "Windows is more secure than you think," and since IE is an inextricable aspect of the whole Windows experience, it, too, must be practically bulletproof.

Or is Microsoft no longer claiming that IE is an inseparable part of its operating system now that the "Redmond Justice" tussle is all but over? After all, it was always a ludicrous argument easily disproved ("Exhibit A: Internet Explorer for Macintosh"), and now that Microsoft no longer needs it as a defense against illegally tying one product to another, we imagine the company's happy to see it go.

Indeed, Microsoft's legal team has lots to cheer about lately; as faithful viewer Philip Regan informed us, the very last state holding out for actual remedies in the "Redmond Justice" settlement (instead of the ineffectual wrist-slapping that everyone else has been too tired not to approve) has finally thrown in the towel-- or, rather, had the towel thrown in for it. MacCentral reports that the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia has "rejected an effort by the state of Massachusetts... to overturn the antitrust settlement between the U.S. Department of Justice and Microsoft." Chief Justice Ginsburg insists that the settlement as it stands does just fine at "remedying the anticompetitive act of commingling... without intruding itself into the design and engineering of the Windows operating system... Well done!"

"Well done"? What is this, an appeals court ruling or Romper Room? For what it's worth, defeated Massachusetts Attorney General Tom Reilly reflected that the country's tech economy "will not reach its full potential unless regulators and the courts are willing to deal with Microsoft and its predatory practices... This was a fight worth fighting." Go get 'em, Tom.

Meanwhile, if you had high hopes that maybe Europe would fare better in its attempt to rein in the Redmond Monster, you might want to take 'em down just a smidge: Reuters reports that the European Commission "has temporarily suspended an order requiring Microsoft to sell a version of its Windows operating system without a media player software." "Temporarily." Right. Microsoft's made of freakin' Teflon or something, so you'll forgive us if we suspect that the eventual outcome of this whole thing won't change anything any more than every other antitrust action against the company that's come before it. Ah, the cynicism of experience...

What with $53 billion in the bank and a chokehold on several tech markets worldwide, Microsoft may well have arrived at a point where the only thing left that has any potential to change it is a volley of surgical nuclear strikes. Where are those weapons of mass destruction when you need them?