DO NOT STARE INTO BEAM (9/27/04)
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We seem to recall having heard at some point recently that an Apple rep referred to the iPod as a "platform" unto itself, and boy howdy, he or she wasn't kidding. iPod accessories used to be limited just to a multitude of cases, car chargers, and the same 1/8" minijack headphones that you could buy for any portable music player. Over time, though, we started seeing actual iPod-specific peripherals-- docking portable speaker systems, voice recorders, battery packs, digital photo card readers, FM transmitters, remote controls; all kinds of nifty stuff to plug into your 'Pod or plug your 'Pod into. And apparently we're just getting into the phase where we're starting to see more iPod peripherals that are somewhat... off-topic.

Take, for example, the latest little bundle o' fun from those wacky wizards at Griffin Technology. These are the guys who brought us the iTrip, certainly the most versatile iPod FM transmitter and probably the best; they were also working on a deliriously off-topic and cool add-on called the PodMate, which was to have turned an iPod into a universal remote control. Word has it that Apple objected for some reason, and the product was eventually released solely as the Total Remote for Pocket PC handhelds (although some people have gotten it working on the iPod anyway).

Well, faithful viewer Mikko Kaivosoja was first to inform us that Griffin has returned to the world of non-music-related iPod add-ons by announcing the iBeam, a one-two punch of effulgence that turns your recent-model iPod or mini into a flashlight and laser pointer. Not simultaneously, unfortunately, so you have to plug in the specific unit you want to use at the time, but other than the hassle of juggling two little dongly things instead of one, the iBeam looks like a great way to spend $20 to turn your $300 iPod into a $10 flashlight and laser doohickey. It's slated to ship at the end of next month and Griffin is taking preorders now.

We haven't seen the system requirements posted anywhere yet, but based on the photos, it looks like first-gen iPod owners like ourselves aren't invited to the party. That's okay, though; personally, we don't have much of a need to turn our iPods into directed light sources. The diffuse glow of the backlighting is plenty bright enough to let us pick our way down dark hallways, and if a laser isn't a death ray we don't really have much use for it. With luck, though, the iBeam will open the door for a flood of inventive non-musical iPod attachments and we'll eventually be able to take advantage of a 'Pod-mounted breathalyzer or stun gun. And when the iBeam 2 ships and comes with a flashlight, a laser pointer, and a lightsaber attachment, then we'll talk about replacing our aging 'Pods with compatible models. Gee, how much battery juice do you suppose that'll suck down? Just to vanquish a foe or two, we mean.

 
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The above scene was taken from the 9/27/04 episode:

September 27, 2004: Apple extends a Mac OS X promo to January 10th; will we get Tiger at the Expo Stevenote? Meanwhile, a customer with a chronically ailing Power Mac G4 gets a free trade-up to a dual 2.5 GHz G5, and more iPod peripherals are finally starting to get off the tired old topic of music...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4945: This Date Matches That Date (9/27/04)   Are you still running some horribly antiquated non-Exposé-enabled operating system like that decrepit old Mac OS X 10.2? Sheesh, what does it take, people? After all, Apple had been running a promo for months now by which you could have paid bought Panther and Apple would have given you-- absolutely free of charge-- a copy of iLife '04 and a crisp, new dollar bill (or the eight-weeks-later reimbursive retroactive financial equivalent thereof)...

  • 4946: One Fine Consolation Prize (9/27/04)   "Hey, AtAT, what the heck's happened to Apple's quality control over the past few years?" Yeah, we get that question more often than we'd like, usually from people who aren't really expecting an answer...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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