Oh, for a return to those magical days when an Apple retail store grand opening meant all the world and then some! Remember those wacky all-night campouts? The lines that got so long the people at the end had to cross two state lines on foot to get to the front door? The overwhelming spirit of camaraderie that let Mac fans work together to kill the security guard trying to kick them out and then dispose of his body? Good times.

Nowadays, what with the store count up into three digits, a grand opening is usually no big whoop; it's lucky to draw a couple dozen enthusiasts willing to get in line even a few hours before opening-- unless, of course, it's the first store in a long-neglected geographical market, in which case there's a decent chance for some serious fun and mayhem. But as Apple's retail coverage continues to grow, those markets are shrinking fast-- at least in this country. (If there's ever a grand opening within 300 miles of Billings, Montana, though, go; it'll be one heck of a party, which you'll need, seeing as it'll be the end of the world and all.)

But Apple's retail push is only just starting to head overseas, so what happened when the company opened its first store in Europe this past Saturday, on Regent Street in London? As Apple's first retail incursion into a whole new continent (more or less), this grand opening should have had much of the giddy thrill that accompanied the launch of the first stores here in the States, or that Ginza store in Tokyo; of course, one would expect the staid and sensible British to be a little less madcap about lining up hours in advance, right? Not so. Okay, sure, the first nutcase in line who'd waited for over 25 hours in the cold before the store officially opened was in fact an American (the boy done us proud), but how do you explain the several thousand freaks queued up behind him? At least a dozen or two had to be British.

Check it out: faithful viewer Chris McD forwarded us a BBC News account of the crowd who'd queued up for Europe's first taste of Apple-flavored retaily goodness, and reportedly police had officially estimated the mob to be 5,000 strong. That, friends, is a lot of people willing to stand in line for hours just to go to a store. Indeed, ignoring the likelihood that some of them probably huddled together for warmth (hey, it beats climbing inside the abdominal cavity of a dead tauntaun), let's figure that each person occupied roughly a linear foot and a half on average; that would mean that the line was literally over a mile long. Well done, Brits!

Okay, we're actually playing more than a little fast and loose with the math, here, since 1) there's no way a line with that many people in it was single-file (just look at it, for heaven's sake), 2) that 5,000 figure was just an estimate anyway, and 3) it apparently counts everyone who'd shown up until an hour after the doors opened, so all 5,000 were never in line all at once. But there's a bit of slop in the numbers, and the BBC confirms that "the seemingly never-ending line of people snaked around corners and crossed several roads," so the possibility of a mile-long queue isn't totally out of the question. And that alone would have been something for the British Apple fans to be proud of, even if they hadn't reportedly "whipped into a frenzy" and engaged in "whooping and hollering" just like the uncouth colonials on this side of the pond.

It's official: love for Apple makes everyone go crazy. Anyone know if the Queen turned up to do the macarena?