As the Apple Turns: Scene 5073: Everybody Wins, Mostly (12/1/04)

Everybody Wins, Mostly (12/1/04)

While we're on the subject of sudden satisfactory resolutions to recent iTunes Music Store drama, remember all that kerfuffle over the iTMS UK "refusing" to sell the new Band Aid 20 version of "Do They Know It's Christmas?" The media was making Apple out to be a puppy-kicking, baby-pinching, uncharitable little weed just because the company didn't want to complicate its consumer-friendly pricing structure by selling a song for £1.49 as the record label was insisting, instead of for the 79p it charges for darn near everything else. We've since been informed by a slew of UK iTMSers that Apple does already sell some other songs for £1.49 as "single-song albums," but since the new Band Aid track is the fastest selling single of the year, we can totally understand Apple not wanting to set a "popular songs cost more" precedent in such a staggeringly visible manner. (It's been fighting off pressure for price hikes from the major labels for months, now, so the last thing Apple needs is for them to be able to say "but you did it for Band Aid!")

Anyway, the tussle's over, the dust has settled, and faithful viewer Steev Bishop tells us that Band Aid 20's song is now available at the iTMS after all-- and at Apple's preferred 79p price point. So did Apple win? Well, yeah, sort of-- but not really. According to BBC News, Apple was only allowed to sell the song for 79p by agreeing to donate another 70p out of its own pocket for every copy downloaded. In other words, Apple gets to keep its pricing structure, iPod owners get the song at roughly half-price, Universal gets its full £1.49, and the Sudanese refugees get whatever cut of that £1.49 Universal sees fit to give them. In that sense it's win-win-win-win, with the only loser being Apple's bank account (although its karma account is simply swelling lately). Sounds like the ending to a made-for-TV holiday special, doesn't it?

There's just one little dark patch on this shiny, happy resolution (not counting the likelihood that Universal is more or less extorting 70p from Apple per sale by holding the company's reputation hostage): apparently the Band Aid 20 song is, well, crap. We've yet to hear from a single Brit who likes it, but we've got a dozen or so messages giving it a thumbs down, ranging in severity from "not as good as the original" to "I'd rather listen to a 24 kbps WMA file of cats being swung by their tails while William Hung attempts to yodel." We've only heard snippets of the new song, ourselves, but we've got to agree: based on what we've heard, the latest version of "Do They Know It's Christmas?" seems a pale, cheesy shadow of the original. And yet those Sudanese refugees could really use some of your extra cash. What to do?

Well, luckily, you have several music-related options. If you're not averse to buying physical CDs (ooh, how '90s!), The Register suggests you take a look at the Band Aid Dilemma, a site urging you to purchase "as many copies of Do They Know It's Christmas by Band Aid 20 as you can afford" and then "destroy them in amusing ways" and send them photos. The Darfurians still get their money and you don't have to listen to the song; now that's win-win, baby. The all-digital version of this practice might be less impressive, but if anyone feels like downloading the iTMS track and sending Band Aid Dilemma a screenshot of the file being dragged onto the Trash or something, more power to you. [ADDENDUM: sorry, somebody already beat you to it.]

Apple's given you an alternative to the buy-'n'-shred route, however; the iTMS UK is also selling the original 1984 Band Aid recording of "Do The Know It's Christmas?" and donating all proceeds to the Darfurians, so if you're a bigger fan of the first version, by all means, grab that one instead. Of course, if you're in the U.S. and you can't buy either Band Aid song at the iTMS, don't forget that all proceeds from the Afrobeat Sudan Aid Project (ASAP) go to help Darfurian refugees, too, and while it doesn't feature Dido or Robbie Williams, it's probably far more culturally appropriate music considering the people whose plight it seeks to alleviate. (As faithful viewer Tim astutely points out, the Darfurians are mostly Muslim-- so, no, they probably don't know it's Christmas.)

See? One way or another, everyone wins. Now go have a cookie.

SceneLink (5073)

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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

The above scene was taken from the 12/1/04 episode:

December 1, 2004: The iTMS Canada is finally here-- and only a day late, to boot. Meanwhile, the iTMS UK sells the Band Aid 20 song after all (at great cost to itself), and in some Asian countries, the iPod has a market share only a mother could love...

Other scenes from that episode:

5072: "We'll Be Late. We're Done!" (12/1/04) Okay, so Apple admits that it's a little late to the party: following yesterday's observation that the iTunes Music Store didn't make it to Canada by the end of November as promised, the company issued a statement to MacMinute and other Apple-obsessed news outlets confirming that the store really was late and not simply invisible or cleverly hiding behind the toolshed or something...
5074: Foreign Cultures Are Scary (12/1/04) Perspective time! You are, of course, well aware that the iPod reigns supreme when it comes to market share among portable digital music players, and so you might be questioning the necessity of Apple's rumored decision to ship cheaper, lower-capacity flash-based iPods starting next month just to compete in the shallowest end of the pool...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...


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