Wow, it's like clockwork: evidently every 7.28 years, the CEO of Dell Computer has to come out and say something two parts mean and three parts stupid about Apple to the press. Back in late '97, the CEO was company founder Mike Dell, who, when asked what he'd do if he were in charge of Apple, replied that he'd "shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders." Today, of course, the shareholders are awfully glad that ol' Mike wasn't running the company-- at least, Apple's shareholders are.

But now Dell's CEO is some shmoe named Kevin Rollins, and as faithful viewer Ken Drake points out, the traditional duty of the Seven-Year Smack-Talk has fallen to him. Any guesses as to what he's come up with? Go on, guess. Seriously, just take a wild stab at it. Oh, never mind-- it's so goofy you'll never come up with it in a million years unless you inject yourself with Steve Ballmer Missing Link Anti-Logic stem cells, as Rollins apparently has: according to Silicon.com, ol' Kev has decided that the iPod is a "fad" and a "one-product wonder," because-- get this-- "the iPod has been out for three years and it's only this past year it's become a raging success." Because in his mind, see, a "fad" is evidently a product that takes time to build demand based on word of mouth and customer delight, as opposed to an irrational craze that sparks up instantaneously and then fizzles out just as quickly. And we're sure that's correct in whatever sunny alternate dimension his alleged brain resides during these cold winter months.

Wait, because it gets better-- when fishing for an example of another "fad" to which he can disparagingly compare the iPod, he actually comes up with this: "When I was growing up there was a product made by Sony called the Sony Walkman-- a rage, everyone had to have one. Well you don't hear about the Walkman anymore."

In other words, the iPod will wind up fading from the public eye just as quickly as that failure the Walkman did. So make sure you sell off all your Apple stock in, say, eighteen or twenty years before that happens. Write yourself a note so you don't forget.

Interestingly, Silicon.com (one of the more overtly anti-Apple 'net publications we've encountered) doesn't ask Rollins the obvious follow-up questions: if the iPod is just a trivial "fad" and doesn't represent part of a "sustainable strategy" ("Music? Just a passing phase! Mark my words: in three years, no one will be listening to music anymore!"), then why, pray tell, did Dell clone the iPod in every way except looks, style, and ease of use when it introduced the ludicrously poor-selling Dell Digital Jukebox? And why has the company bothered to update that product to be (it hopes) marginally less sucky? And why has it released a new "Pocket" model that shamelessly rips off the iPod mini? And why will it probably ship a screenless, flash-based "DJ Random" or whatever once the first iPod shuffle sales numbers hit the stands?

But in the end, we really have to thank Mr. Rollins for tipping us off about the iPod being as short-lived a fad as the Sony Walkman. We've got our fingers on the "SELL" button right now, awaiting that fateful day in the 2020s when it all comes crashing down around us. Any decade now!