Who says there's no up side to being late all the time? Sure, broadcasting last Friday's episode in the wee hours of this fine Monday morning may seem like a serious breach of scheduling protocol, but in reality it's actually just a cunning strategy to bring you far more drama that you'd have otherwise received. No, honestly! Consider, for instance, the ancient Friday tradition of Wildly Off-Topic Microsoft-Bashing Day; all those so-called "punctual" 'net-based Apple-flavored soap operas out there probably dished you up a slice o' fun about Microsoft's attempted antitrust weasel-move over there in Europe. But by broadcasting a mere three days late, we get to bring you something far juicier. See? When you slather on a heaping helping of procrastination, everybody wins!

Not that the European antitrust thing isn't entertaining, mind you. Had we been cursed with the fetters of punctuality, we almost certainly would've based our own Microsoft-bash around it, because it's a nice, solid plot element upon which to build a healthy kick in Microsoft's mighty crotch, metaphorically speaking. You remember when Europe had the stones to do what the U.S. Department of Justice did not, right? It smacked Microsoft down with a massive fine and several sanctions intended to prevent it from illegally wielding monopoly power quite so blatantly in the future. One of those remedies was requiring the company to offer a separate version of Windows that wasn't tied to Windows Media Player. Well, true to form, Microsoft agreed-- but according to a CNET article pointed out by faithful viewer Sam Beard, the company planned to name the unbundled version "Windows XP Reduced Media Edition" and sell it for full price.

Oooh, yeah, that'll sell like hotcakes! Needless to say, the European Commission wasn't amused, and is forcing Microsoft to change the name to something less transparently equivalent to "Windows XP Overpriced Crap Version" (which, frankly, we find a little redundant), thus foiling Microsoft's obvious attempt to keep sales of the non-WMP version so low they'd put Microsoft Bob to shame. Still, it was nice of Microsoft to remind us all just how stupid they honestly think the rest of the planet must be, which is, of course, one of the classic topics for a WO-TM-BD rant-- assuming you actually broadcast Friday's material on Friday like some kind of chump.

In stark contrast, by blowing it off through the weekend, we get to bring you something even more enjoyable, courtesy of faithful viewer Darth Mac and the BBC News article he forwarded us on Sunday morning. See, apparently there was some big flap in the UK press last week about "a page of notes and doodles" that Prime Minister Tony Blair allegedly left behind on the podium after speaking at the World Economic Forum Annual Meeting in Switzerland; the page was submitted to psychologists and handwriting analysts, who, after examining the drawings and writing in detail, declared that they were the work of a person who is "struggling to concentrate," "struggling to keep control of a confusing world," "not a natural leader," and "an unstable man who is feeling under enormous pressure." Yikes! Bad news for Blair, right?

Except, of course, that the doodles and notes weren't his. Guess who else spoke at that same podium?

That's right, kiddies, the British government has officially declared that the insecure, unstable fella with poor concentration who scribbled those notes was not Mr. Blair, but one Bill Gates, who shared the podium at the same press conference-- and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has confirmed that, in all likelihood, Billy-Boy is indeed the doodlemeister that the psychologists have been picking apart in the press. Wow... suddenly it all makes sense. How do you suppose Bill feels about his mother?

And to think that if we had broadcast this episode on time, we'd have had to sit on this awesome development for another week, at which point it'd be so old hat we'd probably have had to pass it up in favor of a fresher bonehead Microsoft move. Dodged a bullet, there, huh? So always remember, friends, the secret ingredient to spice up any endeavor is procrastination: jazzing up drama since time immemorial! (Or, at least, since three days later than it was supposed to start.) Try some today!

Or tomorrow. Whenever.