Happy birthday, Steve Jobs-- and holy cats, it's the Big Five-Oh! Hitting the half-century mark is clearly cause for joyous celebration, and here's hoping that the birthday boy was able to eke out a few hours away from his various and sundry CEOships to spend with his close friends and family to mark the occasion. We would have baked him a cake (Anya, who calls him "Not Steve from Blue's Clues, Steve from Apple," had voiced interest in baking a "strawberry cake with corn-on-the-cob frosting"), but we know from personal experience that shipping birthday cakes cross-country never really works out quite right. Those darn candles just won't stay lit.

Anyway, Steve's not the only one who should be celebrating his semicentennial; while Apple's success since the Dark Days of the mid-'90s is obviously due to the efforts of thousands of hardworking Apple employees over the past decade, we think it's safe to say that without Steve's return to the fold, Apple wouldn't be enjoying stock splits, domination of the digital music market, and what is arguably the healthiest and most vibrant (if not necessarily the biggest) Macintosh market since the platform's inception over twenty years ago. In fact, if it weren't for Steve, by now Apple would more likely be "resting" its beautiful plumage with its feet nailed to the perch, so if you're in any way glad that Apple's still around, it's only fitting that you celebrate Steve's continued presence in this mortal plane of existence yourself. Bake a cake, or do a little dance, or get hammered and cry into the phone at your ex at 2 AM-- but do something.

In fact, here's an idea: why not blow a little cash on the ultimate doodad to commemorate the happy occasion? Faithful viewer ephraimephraim informs us that PodBrix is back with a new limited-edition, Apple-themed Lego figure-- and this one just happens to be modeled after The Steve Himself. Yes, the site has officially introduced "Minifig - Keynote," a hand-modified Lego figurine retooled to look just like everyone's favorite just-turned-50 CEO, complete with black mock turtleneck, blue jeans, and an iPod in one hand and an iPod shuffle in the other. Only 300 exist, so if you missed out on PodBrix's original iPod silhouette dancer, this is your chance to put to rest the ghost of that failure while also honoring the anniversary of Steve's birth.

Oh, wait-- never mind, because it seems that all 300 Lego-Steves sold out within about 90 minutes as we produced this very scene. Apparently we weren't the only ones who thought that buying a teensy yellow Steve with a fetching Lego-bump on top of his head would be the ideal way to celebrate the man's half-century of distorting reality for fun and profit. Looks like you're going to have to find a different way to honor the occasion. May we recommend the getting-plastered-and-phoning-the-ex thing? It's a time-honored classic.