As the Apple Turns: Scene 5216: Why Not Settle For Less? (3/23/05)

Why Not Settle For Less? (3/23/05)

Oh, sure, we know-- when it comes to Apple-related lawsuits, the drama junkie side of you pictures knock-down, drag-out courtroom brawls with Perry Mason badgering witnesses into tearful confessions, a crimson-faced hanging judge banging his gavel while threatening to clear the court and jail the lawyers for contempt, and Steve Jobs up on the stand screaming "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!" before lunging at the bailiff with teeth bared while growling like a rabid animal. Oh, to live in a perfect world! Sadly, in all but the rarest cases, the reality is far less entertaining, and in fact most of these lawsuits are settled out of court before even the possibility of fun begins to materialize.

And so it goes with one of Apple's latest suits, specifically the one in which it sued three members of the Apple Developer Connection for having leaked prerelease versions of Mac OS X via the 'net. Faithful viewer Darcy informs us that, according to Reuters, Apple just settled its beef with one of the three developers: evil BitTorrent-wielding pirate mastermind Doug Steigerwald. Presumably to comply with one of the terms of whatever deal was cut, Steigerwald has informed the press that he now realizes that his "actions were wrong" and "caused substantial harm to Apple." He has agreed to "pay an undisclosed sum to Apple" to make the suit go away so that he can focus more on being "the subject of a criminal investigation by the U.S. Attorney's office." My oh my, what a busy guy.

This settlement doesn't bode well for drama fiends counting on rough-and-tumble courtroom fun in one of Apple's other highly visible cases, either, since Mr. Steigerwald is not only an evil BitTorrent-wielding pirate mastermind, but also a 22-year-old student. (He wears many hats, which is tricky, 'cause those big, black pirate ones are pretty huge all by themselves.) When speaking about the settlement, an Apple spokesperson ominously said that "while Apple will always protect its innovations, it is not our desire to send students to jail." That sets the stage, of course, for an imminent settlement with 19-year-old Harvard undergrad Nick Ciarelli, aka "Nick DePlume" of Think Secret, whom Apple is suing for knowingly publishing trade secrets. So if you were hoping for a bitter, drawn-out struggle in the Think Secret case, prepare for disappointment, because it sounds like Apple's in a settling mood and is dangling Doug's "pay some cash, apologize in public, cut your losses and get on with your life" deal out there like a carrot on a stick.

As for the other two developers in the Mac OS X leak case, well, they're still getting poked with the business end of the Lawsuit Stick™, but we won't be the slightest bit surprised if they take Doug's path and settle too. Sigh. Quality Apple-flavored courtroom drama really is hard to come by when everyone just wants to get along. What we need is a high-profile criminal case involving a top Apple exec, and a DA unwilling to cut a deal. Anyone with a little extra time on their hands up for framing Steve Jobs for, say, attempted murder, or high treason, or something like that? You know, just to spice things up a little bit. Just a thought. We'll even lend you a black turtleneck; who could ever tell you two apart?

SceneLink (5216)

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The above scene was taken from the 3/23/05 episode:

March 23, 2005: Apple settles its lawsuit against a student developer who posted prerelease copies of Mac OS X on the 'net. Meanwhile, Microsoft posts a not-so-subtle page telling customers that the ideal flash-based music player is "Anything But the iPod shuffle", and if you're having trouble with your new PowerBook's trackpad, why not just tilt your worries away?...

Other scenes from that episode:

5217: Need A Secret Decoder Ring (3/23/05) How many ways can one company tell you not to do something without ever actually telling you not to do something? Answer: six. That may sound like a lot, until you consider that the company in question is Microsoft and has untold armies of FUDmeisters in its marketing department working around the clock (at which point six sounds a little like maybe their manager was a little light with the whip that day)...
5218: Of Trackpads And Tilting (3/23/05) Since things are generally pretty quiet right about now, we thought we'd take a minute to square up an account or two-- you know, just to keep the karma straight. Regular viewers (well, as regular as possible given our erratic broadcast frequency of late) may recall that we recently purchased a new 15-inch PowerBook, but the last thing we mentioned about it was that the new scrolling trackpads are terrific at scrolling, and infuriating at pretty much everything else...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...


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