Meanwhile, whispers of a Big Scary Switch to x86 aren't the only reason things are feeling mighty familiar right about now: they may not come around quite as often as rumors of Intel-based Macs do, but Apple's no stranger to I-got-canned-for-jus'-bein'-me lawsuits, either-- and recently they seem to be all the rage. Why, just a couple of months ago we mentioned that Apple was being sued for wrongful termination by ex-Mac product engineering head honcho Tim Bucher-- remember? He disappeared from One Infinite Loop in mysteriously quiet circumstances last November, and then sicced his lawyers on Apple in March, alleging that the company had illegally axed him due to a "perceived disability" (which, based on a Steve Jobs comment or two, was apparently manic depression). Good times.

If you do remember that kicky lil' plot twist, then you might think we're still in reruns when we tell you that Apple's just been sued for wrongful termination... again. But this is all-new, we assure you-- and if lurking mental illness wasn't a juicy enough alleged motive to hold your interest, check out the headline of the official press release from the Law Offices of Waukeen McCoy: Lesbian Files Sexual Orientation Discrimination Lawsuit Against Apple Computer. Aha-- so that's why Apple ditched the rainbow logo!

The law firm, apparently angling for ratings, calls attention to the fact that this suit "may be one of the largest discrimination lawsuits filed against Apple Computer by a Lesbian." (Think about that for a minute or two.) Still not "Sweeps Month" enough for ya? Well, don't worry, because it gets even better: the complaint has reportedly been amended to add a pinch of "genetic characteristic discrimination" to the sexual orientation discrimination claim already in play. Plaintiff Shaune Patterson alleges that, after she complained that her "white counterparts, who were junior to her," were being paid higher salaries than she was, Apple first suspended her and then kicked her out the door; she also claims that an Apple manager referred to her as a "rather obese-sized black lesbian" in an official memo before she was sacked. (Waukeen McCoy neglects to mention whether or not this suit may be one of the largest discrimination lawsuits filed against Apple by an alleged "rather obese-sized black lesbian," leading us to assume that it failed to crack the Top Five.)

Not that we should be making light of workplace discrimination, of course, which is obviously a very real problem that merits sober thought and serious attention; unfortunately, we're neither mentally nor emotionally equipped to give sober thought and serious attention to any subject, and so if an Apple employee is indeed guilty of having fired Ms. Patterson simply because of her weight, race, and sexual orientation, it's up to Apple to set things right. And when the company tosses said offender out on his/her keister in a classic demonstration of rightful termination, we can crack stupid jokes about that, too. See? We know our place in the universe.

AtAT: an equal opportunity employer. Heck, we're so liberal in our hiring policies that we even have child slave labor (domestic, not off-shore!) on staff; how many 'net-based Apple-flavored soap operas can say that?