Conservation of Energy (3/25/98)
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Of course, as everyone knows, the principles of Legal Physics dictate that litigious energy is neither created nor destroyed, but simply transferred from suit to suit. And so with the introduction of the scandalous $1.1 billion lawsuit against Apple, there comes a ruling in another case to even things out a little. The case in question is one of the many currently involving Microsoft, whom we suspect is the source of upwards of 35% of the total legal fees collected by lawyers in this country. In a preliminary injunction, Microsoft has been ordered to remove the Java-compatible logo from Internet Explorer and its Software Developer Kit for Java.

You probably remember this case-- Microsoft released IE4 and its Java SDK with a version of Java that doesn't pass Sun's compatibility tests, so Sun sued for breach of contract. The case is far from over, but according to the San Jose Mercury News, Sun execs were "jubilant" about the order. Not only did the judge tell Microsoft to remove the Java-compatible logo from its products pending the final decision, but he also said Microsoft's countersuit arguments against Sun were "without merit."

Scott McNealy, the CEO of Sun and longtime Microsoft basher, has reportedly been seen breaking into spontaneous victory dances while walking down the hall to the water cooler. (Well, okay, not really, but it sure seems likely, doesn't it?)

 
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The above scene was taken from the 3/25/98 episode:

March 25, 1998: Apple gets hit up for a wad of cash by a small company with a shady past. Meanwhile, Sun dances a little jig due to its early court victory over arch-nemesis Microsoft regarding the issue of contaminated Java, and Apple continues to prove that it has a deep psychological inability to ship a cheap Mac relative to the rest of the industry...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 567: More Legal Fun (3/25/98)   Just when you thought it was safe to step out of the courtroom, Apple's gone and gotten slapped with another lawsuit. This one isn't just any lawsuit, though; this one's what is technically referred to in legal circles as a "doozy."...

  • 569: Missing the (Price) Point (3/25/98)   Alas, poor Apple-- their tragic flaw is clearly their complete and utter inability to sell a computer at a "low" price point. Unless you've been living in a cave (in particular, a cave without net access), you've heard about Artemis, Apple's upcoming G3-based computer that was long rumored to cost $999 including a 15" monitor...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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