Hey Buddy-- Spare a PII? (4/14/98)
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Things aren't looking quite as sunny for Intel these days. Its profits this past quarter fell a whopping 27%, due to lukewarm demand for its processors. In the words of the lovely and talented Katie, AtAT's resident fact-checker and goddess of minutiae, "They must not be shakin' their groove thing." There are plenty of details in a Bloomberg News article.

You may recall the ensuing panic and carnage on Wall Street last month when Intel warned that their earnings would not be up to their usual standards. Yet despite the fact that the final results actually beat analysts' revised predictions, Intel plans to cut 4.4% of its workforce, sending some 3,000 rainbow Bunnymen packing. Ironically, Intel's recent "troubles" (don't we all wish Apple had "troubles" like Intel's?) are due to its underestimating the market for cheap processors to be used in sub-$1000 computers, which now make up almost half the market; chips from its competitors like AMD are more suitable for such boxes.

Once again, a quick dose of perspective-- yes, Intel's profit dropped, but it's still a huge profit. Even with the reduction, they made $1.44 billion in this one quarter, which is almost as much as Apple lost over two years. That makes us wonder why they find it necessary to eliminate 3,000 jobs, which, even at a ridiculously conservative estimate of $100,000 a year per job (like they'd really cut the people with six-figure salaries!), comes to $300 million a year. Since Intel's profits only dropped by $500 million this quarter, it's not like these layoffs were necessary to keep the doors open. I mean, we are still talking profit, here, not a loss. Geez, and you thought the new Apple was overly profit-driven...

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 4/14/98 episode:

April 14, 1998: Finally, an illicit photo of the long-rumored Apple Media Player makes an appearance. Meanwhile, Intel feels the pinch of the steady growth of the low-cost computer market, and yet another lawsuit enters the plot-- this time it's Apple suing Exponential...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 626: So THAT'S An AMP (4/14/98)   The torrent of media coverage of Apple's Columbus project stopped a while ago, but Apple Recon just keeps talking about it. In recent weeks they've grown increasingly concerned that Apple was going to kill the Apple Media Player set-top project before the final product could make it into stores...

  • 628: Baffle 'em With Lawsuits (4/14/98)   In other chipmaker news, raise your hand if you remember Exponential. (Okay, you can put your hand down, now-- you probably look pretty silly, raising your hand while sitting in front of your computer.)...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1247 votes)

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