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Still in the Black (7/8/98)
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As for Q3 being a profitable quarter, what Steve would not say was just how profitable. While he did say we'd all be happy with the results, we won't know the final numbers for another week; results will be posted on July 15th. Apparently Wall Street liked the comment, though, because Apple's stock shot up just over two points today, closing at a year-long high of just over 32 1/2 after heavy trading.

However, we at AtAT are a curious bunch (in every sense of the word, we're told), so we're not satisfied with vague statements of "profit" and "happy." We want numbers! Steve showed a bar graph depicting a green Q1 bar of $47 million, a slightly larger Q2 bar of $55 million, and a Q3 bar that was larger still, but labeled only with a question mark. And while faithful viewer Mark Simmons suggested that applying some basic algebra to the relative heights of the bars in the graph might yield the exact size of the quarter's profit, we think Mark may be working just a leetle bit too hard lately. (Of course, that doesn't mean we're not game to try. Anyone got a photo of that slide and a ruler?)

Since Steve didn't wreck our fun by announcing the exact results too early, we're going to go ahead and run our quarterly "Beat the Analysts" contest. Longtime viewers know the drill by now; guess the size of Apple's Q3 profit and win a prize from AtAT's Baffling Vault of Antiquity®. More details are available on the entry form. Enter now and make your voice heard...

 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 7/8/98 episode:

July 8, 1998: The star of the show appears live and in person to rally the troops. Meanwhile, talk of a third consecutive quarterly profit sends Apple's stock to a new yearly high, and serves as a nice introduction to our quarterly "Beat the Analysts" contest...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 840: Special Guest Star (7/8/98)   We're sure you've heard by now that Captain Steve gave his keynote address not via satellite as originally planned, but live and in person, which was a pleasant surprise for your friendly neighborhood AtAT staff...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...
Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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