Wow, just twelve more "it's after the 22nd, where are those stinking speed-bumped Power Macs?" messages (and yes, by an incredible coincidence, they've all been phrased exactly that way) and we'll qualify for federal bailout funds. Simmer down, people-- remember, MacMinute's exact words were that we'd see Power Macs with G4s running at up to 1 GHz "on Tuesday, January 22, or shortly thereafter"; your definition of "shortly" simply might be a little less relaxed than theirs. We can relate. Why, when we say we'll be at the restaurant at "eightish," that occasionally means "a quarter to nine" or "a week from Saturday" or "sometime in May." It's all a matter of perspective.

For what it's worth, though, MacUser UK was also expecting revised Power Macs to materialize yesterday, but according to faithful viewer Rob Picton, that august body is now reporting that the introduction was "delayed"; it seems that "factors had conspired against" yesterday's planned intro, and it doesn't take a Scooby-Doo to guess at the most likely reason: MacUser suggests that "the number of existing Power Macs that remain in the channel" might be prompting Apple to hold back on releasing the goods. Indeed, we took a peek over at MacMall and discovered that those folks appear to have just over 100 dual-800 MHz units in stock (not bad), 750 of the 867 MHz model (uh-oh), and 2600 733 MHz models rattling around in the warehouse (time to light a fire and collect the insurance).

Because of these various "factors," MacUser now reports that the new Power Macs won't see the light of day "until next week at the earliest," which means those of you hoping for something more significant than a little bump to 800 MHz/933 MHz/dual-1 GHz G4s might be able to rustle up a little optimism that Seybold will yield G5s or something similarly brain-melting. Personally, we're keeping our expectations low-- but mostly because we just can't see G5s shipping until later in the year at the earliest, and not because a fairly convincing-looking PDF containing new G4 specs allegedly appeared at one of Apple's semi-internal sites and vanished again shortly thereafter in a puff of "oops."

If you've come across this document (and you probably have, since faithful viewer Jeff Wiley tells us that it just showed up at Mac OS Rumors), you may want to be a little wary; true, the specs therein are pretty much in line with the modest improvements we've been expecting all along (e.g. the aforementioned 800/933/dual-1000 breakdown), but there's at least one surprise that gets our admittedly hair-trigger spider sense a-tinglin': supposedly there's going to be an ATI RADEON 7500 in the low-end model, when nVIDIA just made a big deal about its technology being "standard in all Apple desktops." If you can get past that minor stumbling block, however, there are definitely some things to like about those alleged specs-- such as the as-yet-unannounced nVIDIA GeForce4 MX shipping in the two top-tier models and the bundling of a bunch of useful third-party Mac OS X-native software, such as Ambrosia's Snapz Pro X and LemkeSoft's GraphicConverter.

We're still putting those reports on the "maybe" pile, though. After all, why judge now? We'll know the absolute truth "shortly," right?

To those of you still awaiting an Apple-branded PDA device despite many, many years of disappointment, we salute you; your faith is indeed an inspiration to us all. Over the years, you've clung to the sketchiest rumors and the thinnest shreds of evidence. At the same time you've managed to block out or rationalize away any clues that might compromise the Apple PDA Dream (like, for instance, Apple itself repeatedly telling everyone that there's no such thing in the works). Judging by the mail we get, some of you even still think the iWalk is real, despite all the evidence to the contrary. That sort of unwavering commitment to a pipe dream goes way beyond "commendable"; it's flat-out awe-inspiring. We only wish we could have kept the dream alive as long as you have.

In return for your inspiring struggle to keep the Apple PDA wish on life-support, today we bestow upon you the best gift we can offer: some real, honest-to-goodness hope. Check it out: even if we take Phil Schiller at his word and believe that there was "nothing going on" at Apple regarding handheld development and accept Steve's repeated assertions that PDAs aren't that useful and the handheld market isn't the "funnest place to be right now" (bear with us for a second, because we're going somewhere with this), that's not to say that someone else isn't working on a future Apple handheld. Jobs might be down on PDAs at the moment, but the other Steve seems to think they've still got legs as a consumer technology.

Yes, Steve Wozniak, the other guy who cofounded Apple (otherwise known as "the quiet Beatle"), really seems to be getting deeply into this whole consumer-grade wireless-communications handheld concept. Just last month we noted that he's joined the board of directors of Danger, Inc., a company that's working on a "hiptop" device that combines mobile phone functions with PDA features and wireless Internet capability; mere weeks ago rumors were flying that Apple would be buying Danger and slapping its logo on the hiptop. So far that obviously hasn't happened, and we're really not expecting it to.

However, faithful viewer Robert N. Fernando informs us that, according to a New York Times article, Woz is dipping his toes into another puddle these days; apparently he's launching a start-up to develop "consumer products based on wireless and global positioning satellite technologies." Dubbed "Wheels of Zeus" (it's an initials thing-- get it?), the new company has $6 million in initial venture capital and aims, in Woz's words, to help "everyday people track everyday things." Sounds like a nifty wirelessly-communicating consumer-targeted handheld to us... and here's the bit that will appeal to diehard Apple handheld fanatics: right now W.o.Z. doesn't plan to sell its own products, but rather to "seek licensing and marketing arrangements with other consumer electronics and related companies."

Granted, that's a long way from Apple inking a deal with W.o.Z. to license whatever comes out of Woz's brain and ship it as the "iZap" or whatever, but like we said-- there's hope. Building upon that is entirely up to your and your fertile little imaginations. Have fun! We're sure you'll make us proud.

Yeah, we know... it's not strictly Apple-related. Heck, when you think about it, it's kind of a stretch to call it even vaguely Apple-related. Still, we just wouldn't feel right if we didn't at least touch upon the latest spin-off of "Redmond Justice." You have, of course, probably already heard what faithful viewer Monkey's Uncle told us yesterday, and what the Associated Press has been reporting: that AOL Time Warner is suing Microsoft, alleging that Redmond's illegal anticompetitive actions throttled Netscape's thriving browser product and turned it into the twisted wreck of a thing it is today. (Okay, so the most recent Netscape browsers aren't that bad... but you have to admit, they lack a certain polish. And for a while there, some of those public builds were looking downright mangy.)

Now, the only reason that AOL is involved is because, as we're sure you're aware, the company swallowed Netscape whole a few years back after Microsoft had left the browser company little more than a twitching corpse with tank treads across its back. This development, frankly, just tickles us to no end, because let's be honest, for a second, here... not many people are going to see this as any kind of struggle of good versus evil. Lots of people hate Microsoft, either because it's an antitrust bully, or because its products cause endless frustration, or even because it's wildly successful. On the other hand, plenty of people also dream of strapping AOL's Steve Case into a dentist's chair and stuffing "400 Hours Free!" CD-ROMs down his gullet until his feet swell to the size of watermelons. In other words, the whole world is now going to get to watch two of the most reviled names in high-tech try to eviscerate each other in court. Really, what could possibly be more entertaining?

Best of all, we still get that barefaced innocence act from Microsoft that was all the rage during the "Redmond Justice" testimony. As noted by faithful viewer Porsupah, in response to the allegations that its illegal business practices nuked Netscape by bundling a free browser with its vastly dominant operating system and thus practically eliminating any market for the company's product, a Microsoft spokesman had this to say: "AOL Time Warner has been using the political and legal system to compete against Microsoft for years. This is just the next tactic in their litigation plans. Microsoft is investing to build new products, while AOL invests in lawyers and lobbyists to put roadblocks in Microsoft's way." Poor Microsoft... innovating as best it can while the evil AOL empire naughtily distracts it with pesky lawsuits. Why, it would be almost tragic if it weren't so darn funny.