In Two Years: The iWoz? (1/23/02)
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To those of you still awaiting an Apple-branded PDA device despite many, many years of disappointment, we salute you; your faith is indeed an inspiration to us all. Over the years, you've clung to the sketchiest rumors and the thinnest shreds of evidence. At the same time you've managed to block out or rationalize away any clues that might compromise the Apple PDA Dream (like, for instance, Apple itself repeatedly telling everyone that there's no such thing in the works). Judging by the mail we get, some of you even still think the iWalk is real, despite all the evidence to the contrary. That sort of unwavering commitment to a pipe dream goes way beyond "commendable"; it's flat-out awe-inspiring. We only wish we could have kept the dream alive as long as you have.

In return for your inspiring struggle to keep the Apple PDA wish on life-support, today we bestow upon you the best gift we can offer: some real, honest-to-goodness hope. Check it out: even if we take Phil Schiller at his word and believe that there was "nothing going on" at Apple regarding handheld development and accept Steve's repeated assertions that PDAs aren't that useful and the handheld market isn't the "funnest place to be right now" (bear with us for a second, because we're going somewhere with this), that's not to say that someone else isn't working on a future Apple handheld. Jobs might be down on PDAs at the moment, but the other Steve seems to think they've still got legs as a consumer technology.

Yes, Steve Wozniak, the other guy who cofounded Apple (otherwise known as "the quiet Beatle"), really seems to be getting deeply into this whole consumer-grade wireless-communications handheld concept. Just last month we noted that he's joined the board of directors of Danger, Inc., a company that's working on a "hiptop" device that combines mobile phone functions with PDA features and wireless Internet capability; mere weeks ago rumors were flying that Apple would be buying Danger and slapping its logo on the hiptop. So far that obviously hasn't happened, and we're really not expecting it to.

However, faithful viewer Robert N. Fernando informs us that, according to a New York Times article, Woz is dipping his toes into another puddle these days; apparently he's launching a start-up to develop "consumer products based on wireless and global positioning satellite technologies." Dubbed "Wheels of Zeus" (it's an initials thing-- get it?), the new company has $6 million in initial venture capital and aims, in Woz's words, to help "everyday people track everyday things." Sounds like a nifty wirelessly-communicating consumer-targeted handheld to us... and here's the bit that will appeal to diehard Apple handheld fanatics: right now W.o.Z. doesn't plan to sell its own products, but rather to "seek licensing and marketing arrangements with other consumer electronics and related companies."

Granted, that's a long way from Apple inking a deal with W.o.Z. to license whatever comes out of Woz's brain and ship it as the "iZap" or whatever, but like we said-- there's hope. Building upon that is entirely up to your and your fertile little imaginations. Have fun! We're sure you'll make us proud.

 
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The above scene was taken from the 1/23/02 episode:

January 23, 2002: The new Power Macs are "delayed"-- but signs indicate they're still coming soon. Meanwhile, the Woz starts up a start-up aiming to bring GPS and wireless technologies to the masses, and AOL sues Microsoft in what is surely going to be a clash of the titans which many people will wish both sides could lose...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3521: Hey, Keep Your Shirts On (1/23/02)   Wow, just twelve more "it's after the 22nd, where are those stinking speed-bumped Power Macs?" messages (and yes, by an incredible coincidence, they've all been phrased exactly that way) and we'll qualify for federal bailout funds...

  • 3523: But Which Side To Cheer? (1/23/02)   Yeah, we know... it's not strictly Apple-related. Heck, when you think about it, it's kind of a stretch to call it even vaguely Apple-related. Still, we just wouldn't feel right if we didn't at least touch upon the latest spin-off of "Redmond Justice."...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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