As of right now, AtAT's complex and inscrutable probability analysis algorithms have proven conclusively that virtually all of the show's viewers are now expecting Apple to unveil new iMacs at Macworld Expo Tokyo in a couple of weeks. We say "virtually all," because apparently there are still three of you who aren't convinced. (You know who you are.) Well, never let it be said that we at AtAT don't bend over backwards to accommodate the educational needs of the few at the expense of the entertainment of the many. Those of you to whom new Tokyo iMacs have long been old news, please amuse yourselves with shadow puppets and amusing limericks while we lay a little science on the unbelievers.

The obvious signs of Apple's intent have been done to death, so we'll just recap quickly, here: Apple admitted that consumers wanted CD-RW drives; iTunes directly supports Apple's internal CD-RW drives; iTunes is clearly a consumer-oriented application; the iMac is a consumer-oriented desktop Mac. (Follow the bouncing logic diagram.) Add to that the additional fact that all of the new Power Macs have CD-RW capabilities, and we think it's pretty obvious that Apple has both the motive and the means to add CD-RW drives to most of the iMac line-up as soon as possible. With us so far?

Next up: external clues. Sure, Steve is clinically obsessive about preventing leaks from within, but there are certain signs that simply can't be suppressed. One is the discontinuing of a particular product. Anti-Leak Steve can deprive his engineers and designers of all external human contact all he likes, but at some point well in advance of the new gear's debut, Apple has to tell its resellers that the current Mac has been discontinued. There have been several reports floating around that all iMacs are showing up in various resellers' inventory systems as "end of life." Heck, as faithful viewer Icestryke pointed out, iMac DV+ systems are even "temporarily unavailable" at Apple's own online store. And if you think that's just because they're selling so briskly that Apple can't crank 'em out fast enough, you clearly haven't seen any iMac sales numbers recently.

It's all about inventory clearance. Apple needs to sell as many of the "old" systems as possible before the new ones come out, or else it has to eat the cost on a slew of obsolete products that depreciate faster than Walt Flanagan's dog-- which means that Apple's own promotion programs are another clear indication of upcoming product changes. Remember all those rebates Apple offered on PowerBooks and Power Macs purchased before last December 31st? Remember what Steve revealed nine days later, at the last Macworld Expo? Gee, new PowerBooks and Power Macs! Now, let's think about this for a second: Apple is currently running an iMac promo that offers $200 back on any Apple Store iMac DV Special Edition purchase, and the offer ends on February 12th. (Seeing as iMac DV Special Editions are now also "temporarily unavailable" at the Apple Store, evidently the promotion worked.) Now what formerly-mentioned big event takes place just ten days later in a country that really likes small computers?

This concludes our little lesson, and now hopefully all of you AtAT viewers are on the same page. After all, we want to make sure that our happy little television family is uniformly smugly unsurprised when Uncle Steve takes the wraps off his latest toys in sixteen days-- or uniformly stunned into sheepish disbelief when the iMacs fail to show and we all look like total doofuses. When all's said and done, it's all about togetherness, right?

Do you have an AirPort wireless network? Do you feel like James Bond as you access your company's top secret and super-sensitive design plans wirelessly from your brand new titanium PowerBook G4? Do you cherish the mental picture of dozens of scantily-clad but lethal female operatives throwing themselves at your feet, all because there's no technology sexier than the AirPort-enabled PowerBook that you currently own and use, amazing stud that you are? That's nice. Meanwhile, in the real world, some teenage kid with a higher-than-average computer aptitude, a faltering moral compass, and way too much time on his hands is parked outside and has just intercepted those super-sensitive design plans, which he plans to sell to your company's competitor. Your plans just got handed to Blofeld, which means that the kid gets the Bond Girls and you get tossed in the piranha tank.

"Not so!" you cry. "I use encryption with my AirPort network, and therefore my data is secure and those exceptionally hot women will be all over my svelte, masculine, tuxedoed form like white on rice!" Encryption, shmencryption; sorry, Skippy, but according to a Reuters article first pointed out to us by faithful agent Robert Fernando, various and sundry evildoers can exploit holes in the Wired Equivalent Privacy system that will enable them to "eavesdrop on or even disrupt" wireless 802.11 networks such as AirPort's. By using the wireless capabilities of your sexy new PowerBook, your ultra-cool super-spy self just delivered the plans right into SPECTRE's hands. And with a resounding "D'oh!" your transformation from James Bond to Homer Simpson is complete.

Of course, since it's the 802.11 standard that contains the security "issue" and not AirPort itself, the problem isn't Apple's fault, nor is it limited to Apple's implementation; "more than 30 companies" who make 802.11-based wireless networking gear are affected by the flaw. So if you've got a wireless network and you've been using it to access sensitive information, you might want to reconsider just how much of an inconvenience that CAT-5 Ethernet cable really is. While it's true that a secret agent man of action isn't going to score nearly as many Bond Girl trysts while tethered to an RJ-45 port, hey, at least SPECTRE won't get to take over the world. We on the AtAT staff, in the meantime, will continue to use our AirPort network with impunity, secure in the knowledge that all an eavesdropper might learn about us is that we spend way too much time surfing IMDB and eBay.

(The staff of AtAT would like to apologize for the overtly male-centric, heterosexual bent of the underlying metaphor in the preceding scene, but hey, it's Bond's world-- we just live in it.)

Many of you disagree strongly with our feeling that Microsoft's upcoming "Windows XP" operating system isn't named specifically to cash in on Mac OS X's hype, and that's fine. Our therapist insists that we don't need your external validation to feel good about ourselves. We're just fine knowing that dozens of people think we're completely wrong, because everyone's entitled to an opinion, and every opinion is just as valid as everyone else's. Which means that despite the fact that lots and lots of people who are obviously much more intelligent than us have come to the conclusion that our opinion is completely incorrect and utterly stupid, we're still good people who deserve our fair share of happiness and peace. Um, right?

Moving on, how about we talk about something everyone can agree on? Faithful viewer Evil Matthew (could it be we're not the only ones with self-image issues?) was, ironically enough, kind enough to point out an article in The Toronto Star about a new Canadian company who's working on a new operating system. This operating system is based on Linux, but its interface is targeted at existing Windows users. In other words, it hopes to marry the power and sophistication of UNIX with a friendly and intuitive graphical user interface for home users-- to be "UNIX for the rest of us." Does that ring a bell? Well, consider this wonder product's name: MaxOS.

We think you'll agree that there are some marked similarities between MaxOS and a certain other next-generation operating system due to ship on March 24th. Between the "friendly UNIX" strategy, the interface targeted at stealing Windows market share, and the name that's a mere one letter off of Apple's NeXT Big Thing™, we wouldn't be surprised if Uncle Steve is already flogging his lawyers to get them riled up and ready to litigate. Of course, we doubt Apple has any grounds on which to sue, but at least we're all in agreement that MaxOS is a transparent ploy to capitalize on Mac OS X's share of the media spotlight. Aren't we? Guys?