Geez, what is with Microsoft's marketing people these days? We thought the company had sacked the geniuses who came up with "Microsoft Bob" lo those many years ago, but perhaps those folks reapplied under fake names and are back in Redmond, because recently we've noticed an increasing degree of "Bobness" in the company's product names. Remember when the years-late Windows NT 5 was renamed Windows 2000? That was a relatively minor blip, though it blurred the distinction between Microsoft's consumer and professional operating systems, and thus increased the potential for customer confusion. Some regular shmoe might well think that Windows 2000 is what he needs, since it's "two years newer" than Windows 98. You get the picture.

Things got even goofier more recently, with Windows 98's successor being officially called "Windows Millennium Edition," or-- barfingly enough-- "Windows Me." Okay, so now the year designation, which used to be only for the consumer OS, is strictly for the formerly-NT pro OS line-up? Evidently so, since there's also "Windows Me Second Edition." Cumbersome much? Okay, sure, Apple's not exactly the king of crystal-clear product naming either. Whereas in the years prior to Steve's return Apple's product line-up was a sticky morass of four-digit numbers so dense even light could not escape, these days only the most die-hard Apple fans understand the distinction between the original PowerBook G3, the PowerBook G3 Series, the PowerBook G3 Series (Bronze Keyboard), and the PowerBook G3 (FireWire). And all those identically-named, differently-spec'd iMacs since 1998 aren't so easy to untangle, either. Still, our point is that we sense a distinct downward spiral on Microsoft's side of the fence.

Well, here's the latest: according to ZDNet News, Microsoft is considering naming the successor to Windows 2000 (which will be available in both "Windows Me"-style personal and "Windows 2000"-style professional versions) as (drum roll, please...) Windows XP. Why XP? Well, no one really knows for sure. One thought is that it refers to "XML Protocol." Yeah, that oughta draw in the customers. Others think it's a deliberate attempt to cash in on Apple's own Mac OS X name, though we think that might be a bit of a stretch. Our guess? Microsoft's marketing team is rapidly losing what little sanity remains, and "XP" refers to the code-name they use for the aliens that try to steal their thoughts whenever they're not wearing their tin-foil hats. After "Windows XP," we won't be terribly surprised if the next release is called "Windows Rubber Pants And The Shivering Night Wombats That Eat Our Souls When We Sleep."