First of all, let us state for the record that we do not wish to perpetuate an unfortunate and inaccurate stereotype that continues to sully the reputation of those fine men and women who work for the U.S. Postal Service. We have nothing but respect for the postal workers of America, and we're constantly amazed by the fact that a mere thirty-four cents can get a piece of paper clear across the country in a matter of days. Think about it for a minute; that's really pretty darn impressive. Furthermore, we know some people who work for the Postal Service, and they are some of the most stable and well-balanced people we have the good fortune to number amongst our friends and acquaintances.

That said, if there's the slightest chance that the sheer drudgery, dehumanizing nature, and seemingly endless workload of certain postal functions may indeed send some employees over the edge, well, we're just a wee bit concerned by the latest news over at Computer User. It seems that postal workers are now eligible to score "special deals" on new personal computers from-- no, not our bestest buddies in Cupertino, but Compaq. Some "800,000 postal workers" qualify for "specially priced personal computers and Internet services" from the PC megagiant.

While we're thrilled that the underappreciated employees of the USPS now rate an unspecified discount on computer gear and services, we really wish that it were Apple dishing the deal instead of Compaq. We've established that postal workers aren't generally prone to run amuck, right? But out of those 800,000 employees, odds are there's at least two or three who are borderline when it comes to repeating certain "unfortunate newsworthy incidents" of the past. And now, by issuing discounts, Compaq is encouraging these potentially dissociated and disgruntled individuals to use Windows? Holy yikes, why not just hand them a rifle and a scope and point them to the nearest clock tower? The AtAT staff isn't even particularly disgruntled (some days we're even more gruntled than not), but when we experience the inherent dehumanization built into Windows, we can come mighty close to... uh, well, maybe we shouldn't finish that sentence.

Now, if this were an Apple discount program, instead, just imagine the potential benefits to humanity! Postal workers would have lower blood pressure, an increased sense of self-worth, and a nice, low frustration level. Mail carriers would make their rounds with a spring in their step, the counter help at the post office would whistle a merry tune, and a round of Registry corruption and IRQ conflicts wouldn't be the last little thing that sends one of the manual sorters into "I do what the voices command me to do" territory. So c'mon, Apple-- step up to the plate and match Compaq's offer. Think of all the lives a few cheap iMacs might save.