So you want to leap feet-first into the challenging and exciting world of conspiracy theories? Not so fast, there, Sparky-- it takes an experienced eye to see the puzzle pieces, and a creative mind to put them together into the big, scary picture. Are you sure you've got what it takes? Well, we figured it'd be nice if there were some kind of semi-official litmus test for aspiring conspiracy theorists, kinda like that send-away free "artistic potential" evaluation that asks you to draw a turtle and a pirate. And so here's the conspiracy aptitude quiz du jour: What do you make of Apple's four NAB press releases?

See, the uninspired will regard them as four separate announcements, linked only by event and (obviously) by target audience. Matrox is releasing a Mac-only digital video editing system for the Power Mac G4, dubbed the "RTMac." Pinnacle is doing the same, with what appears to be a higher-end system called "Ciné." Both of these work with Apple's Final Cut Pro editing software, which "coincidentally" reaches version 1.2.5 next month. And there's also this little matter of Apple having bought a ton of DVD-authoring software from the German company Astarte, those guys that made the awesome CD-making software known as Toast before Adaptec bought it. Now, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to assemble those four separate yet related announcements into a cogent and semi-paranoid conspiracy theory, using outside information should the need arise. (Yes, cogent. Anybody can rant on about aliens, fluoride, and Queen Elizabeth, but the real pros can craft a theory intelligible enough to be believable by "normal" folks.)

Bzzzzzt, time's up! Okay, let's see what you've got. Your goal here is to have shown connections between each of Apple's announcements that reveal a long-range and far-reaching plan to take over a particular industry, market segment, or international superpower. Give yourself ten points if you started with the obvious groundwork: Apple's enlisting third parties like Matrox and Pinnacle to ensure that the Mac (and specifically, the G4) is an attractive editing option for video producers. You get ten more points if you noticed that Final Cut Pro 1.2.5 supports the 16:9 aspect ratio, which is handy for digital television, but also just happens to be what movies are using these days. (That's important. Remember that.)

Now add twenty points if you saw that the addition of Astarte's software and engineering team to Apple's grand scheme for world domination will allow the company to create and sell Mac-friendly software that lets video producers shoot, edit, and press their footage to DVD all on a G4. (After all, direct-to-video releases are going to be direct-to-DVD instead in the not-too-distant-future.) And lastly, you get a bonus fifty points if you see that Apple's out to conquer Hollywood with this setup; did you notice that Associated Press article which notes that George Lucas is going to shoot a lot of "Star Wars: Episode II" digitally, instead of on traditional film? That's right; as the technology progresses, Apple's setting itself up to make the Mac the premier platform for the editing of full-scale, big-studio, feature-length motion pictures, as well as for independent movie-makers to crank out their pet projects. The Mac: it's not just for iMovie anymore, and the company that controls Hollywood controls the world. Now all you need to do is add in some stuff about the freemasons and you're golden. So how'd you do?

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. And while you're at it, ignore all that stuff about the government pushing for Microsoft to release the source code to Internet Explorer as part of the "Redmond Justice" remedy. Evidently, that info was not supposed to go public. According to The Register, after The Wall Street Journal published that scoop earlier in the day, it was "steadily downplayed towards oblivion" as Monday stretched on. And finally, according to a Reuters article, the story was pulled completely. A WSJ spokesperson is quoted as saying, "It wasn't that it was withdrawn, it shouldn't have been posted in the first place." D'oh!!

But, of course, just because it "shouldn't have been posted" doesn't mean it's not true. Most of the parties involved in the case are keeping pretty quiet about the WSJ's "mistake," which implies strongly to us that, yes, the government is going for an open source IE as part of its proposed remedy package, but that info wasn't meant to be released just yet. We figure a government intern grabbed the wrong piece of paper and hit the wrong speed-dial button on the fax machine; instead of sending in the office lunch order to the local Chick-Fil-A, he or she inadvertently spilled a slew of sensitive info to the Journal. Hey, it happens. Good help is hard to find these days.

Now, what's particularly funny about this whole open source, forced-free-license-to-the-source-code plan is that Microsoft reportedly used it as yet another opportunity to look just plain dopey. Specifically, spokesperson Mark Murray called the plan "silly" and "illogical" because-- get this-- "Microsoft already gave IE away for free." Really? Gosh, that's great news for Netscape; grab IE5's honest-to-goodness Mac interface, throw Gecko under the hood, and voilà-- Netscape 6, ready for consumption. Hey, Microsoft! This is source code. This is executable code. This is your spokesperson on drugs. Any questions? But hey, who really expects Microsoft to understand what open source is, anyway? If we had to pick one software company (post-Darwin) that wouldn't have a single clue about the concept of open source, well, our short list would definitely center heavily in the Redmond area...

Speaking of Wizard of Oz references, it's now official: THE WIZ is an authorized Apple reseller, according to Apple's latest press release. For the uninitiated, THE WIZ is a chain of consumer electronics stores owned by Cablevision, with 41 locations in the tri-state area. So New Yorkers now have another place to go when they're looking to pick up an iMac or three. Hmmmm, no "Ruby Slipper" edition of the iMac to celebrate the occasion?

While it's cool enough that Apple's given consumers yet another place to see and buy iGoods, what's especially nifty is that THE WIZ is explicitly focusing on desktop video solutions. Customers can trot into the store and "experience iMac DV and iMovie with every major brand of digital camcorder on the market." And that only makes sense, since THE WIZ isn't really a computer reseller, but a consumer electronics dealer. See what's happening here? With the addition of FireWire and iMovie, the iMac is blurring the line between computer and video equipment. We're going to start seeing people who buy an iMac as an add-on to their camcorder, not vice-versa. Which means that Uncle Steve's "Sonyfication" plan is progressing nicely.

The timing on this announcement's pretty keen, too, since Macworld Expo takes place in New York City a scant three months from now. That's just enough time for THE WIZ to shake the bugs out of its system and have iMovie trial stations primed and ready for a deluge of interested conference-goers. Remember, early-registration for admission to the show floor is free this year, which means "average shmoes" in the New York area may indeed attend iMovie demos at the Expo, and then hit THE WIZ to pick up the goods. Funny how it all comes together, isn't it?