So you want to leap feet-first into the challenging and exciting world of conspiracy theories? Not so fast, there, Sparky-- it takes an experienced eye to see the puzzle pieces, and a creative mind to put them together into the big, scary picture. Are you sure you've got what it takes? Well, we figured it'd be nice if there were some kind of semi-official litmus test for aspiring conspiracy theorists, kinda like that send-away free "artistic potential" evaluation that asks you to draw a turtle and a pirate. And so here's the conspiracy aptitude quiz du jour: What do you make of Apple's four NAB press releases?

See, the uninspired will regard them as four separate announcements, linked only by event and (obviously) by target audience. Matrox is releasing a Mac-only digital video editing system for the Power Mac G4, dubbed the "RTMac." Pinnacle is doing the same, with what appears to be a higher-end system called "Ciné." Both of these work with Apple's Final Cut Pro editing software, which "coincidentally" reaches version 1.2.5 next month. And there's also this little matter of Apple having bought a ton of DVD-authoring software from the German company Astarte, those guys that made the awesome CD-making software known as Toast before Adaptec bought it. Now, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to assemble those four separate yet related announcements into a cogent and semi-paranoid conspiracy theory, using outside information should the need arise. (Yes, cogent. Anybody can rant on about aliens, fluoride, and Queen Elizabeth, but the real pros can craft a theory intelligible enough to be believable by "normal" folks.)

Bzzzzzt, time's up! Okay, let's see what you've got. Your goal here is to have shown connections between each of Apple's announcements that reveal a long-range and far-reaching plan to take over a particular industry, market segment, or international superpower. Give yourself ten points if you started with the obvious groundwork: Apple's enlisting third parties like Matrox and Pinnacle to ensure that the Mac (and specifically, the G4) is an attractive editing option for video producers. You get ten more points if you noticed that Final Cut Pro 1.2.5 supports the 16:9 aspect ratio, which is handy for digital television, but also just happens to be what movies are using these days. (That's important. Remember that.)

Now add twenty points if you saw that the addition of Astarte's software and engineering team to Apple's grand scheme for world domination will allow the company to create and sell Mac-friendly software that lets video producers shoot, edit, and press their footage to DVD all on a G4. (After all, direct-to-video releases are going to be direct-to-DVD instead in the not-too-distant-future.) And lastly, you get a bonus fifty points if you see that Apple's out to conquer Hollywood with this setup; did you notice that Associated Press article which notes that George Lucas is going to shoot a lot of "Star Wars: Episode II" digitally, instead of on traditional film? That's right; as the technology progresses, Apple's setting itself up to make the Mac the premier platform for the editing of full-scale, big-studio, feature-length motion pictures, as well as for independent movie-makers to crank out their pet projects. The Mac: it's not just for iMovie anymore, and the company that controls Hollywood controls the world. Now all you need to do is add in some stuff about the freemasons and you're golden. So how'd you do?