In October of 2001, Apple unveiled the iPod, a best-of-breed digital audio player that integrated seamlessly with iTunes and changed the way we think about portable music. (At least, that's what this here brochure tells us. We'd probably choose to describe it as "that shiny thing that punched a $399 hole right through the net worth of every music lover with an ounce of taste"-- which is presumably why Apple isn't paying us big bucks to write ad copy.) Approximately .004 milliseconds later, obsessive Mac fans immediately commenced the endless speculation as to what Apple's next "digital lifestyle device" would be. iHairDryer? iVacuumCleaner? iGeorgeForemanLeanMeanGrillingMachine? The possibilities seemed endless.

Well, okay, no they didn't. In fact, the possibilities seemed pretty darn limited. Since the iPod was a mobile extension of iTunes, any other new DLD (as all the cool kids are calling them) would most likely be a pivotal piece of equipment that integrated nicely with one of Apple's other iApps-- and since Apple has yet to ship even beta releases of iSalon, iRugSuck, or iBoxingThemedCookoutStuff, the above suggestions seem unlikely. (On so many levels.) At the time, the other iApps were pretty much limited to iDVD, iMovie, and iPhoto-- strongly implying that if Apple were indeed to crank out a new DLD, it'd probably be a digital still or video camera.

Traditionally, though, we've pooh-poohed that idea as unlikely, largely for the same reason that Uncle Steve recently cited as Apple's rationale for not making its own mobile phone: other companies already make plenty of good ones, and Apple wouldn't bring much to the party. But maybe we were wrong about the camera deal after all; faithful viewer Sledgehammer Smythe points out that Think Secret has an update on the DLD mystery: alongside an imminent update to iChat, Apple reportedly may ship "some sort of video camera" to take advantage of that app's new videoconferencing capabilities.

Personally, we've never understood what all the hoo-haa over videoconferencing is about. We like phones precisely because you can't see what we look like; anonymity can be your friend. For example, if there were a webcam on us right now, you'd know that we're producing this episode naked except for balloon animal hats, and our veil of professionalism would be severely compromised. Still, we're willing to give Apple the benefit of the doubt, and if this alleged camera does indeed exist, we're sure that Uncle Steve's Best and Brightest will find wonderful uses for it that just plumb never occurred to us in the slightest. Meaning, something other than live 'net porn.

Say, remember when we recently noted that Microsoft reps had revealed that apparently "Redmond Justice" was all a dream somebody had on "Dallas" and the company was therefore dropping development of all standalone versions of Internet Explorer in favor of tying it completely into Windows? At the time we said that it wouldn't be an aneurysm-inducing surprise to discover that Microsoft wasn't just talking about the Windows version of the browser, and that Mac users might never see another upgrade to Internet Explorer again. (Well, unless you consider Safari to be an upgrade to IE-- and you should. Then again, we consider a stick of gum to be an upgrade to IE, too...)

Well, Mac OS Rumors, at least, seems to agree-- and then some. Get this: not only is Microsoft unpsyched to sink any more development time into IE for the Mac, the company is reportedly "no longer interested in actively developing any products for Mac OS X for some time." What?! No more Microsoft products for our Macs? Now where are we supposed to go for crappy bloatware?

But seriously, folks, while we personally would consider news of all Microsoft software vaporizing overnight as irrefutable proof of the existence of a just and loving God, this development is potentially devastating to our little platform, here. Like it or not, thanks to the self-perpetuating magic of monopoly power, Word and Excel drive the planet, and in business, Exchange clients are pretty much mandatory these days. Note, also, Microsoft's recent Borglike assimilation of VirtualPC from Connectix; oh, sure, they say they plan to keep selling the software, but you don't need to be clinically paranoid to suspect a conspiracy to destroy the Mac's increasing viability in business settings by 1) getting rid of all Mac-native Microsoft products, and 2) buying and then eliminating the most widespread means by which Macs can run the Windows-native versions instead. (Good thing there are other emulators in the works.)

Now, granted, MOSR claims that Microsoft will still deign to squirt out "a few new versions of Office and MSN" for our Macs ("targeted at bringing users into the Windows fold"-- yeah, that should work) before it vacates the premises completely, which, if true, means that the situation isn't necessarily as dire as all that. Still, unless Apple (or someone else) is capable of producing software applications that can completely replace Office and Internet Explorer and provide 100% transparent read-and-write compatibility with Microsoft's ever-mutating and byzantine file formats, a Microsoft Mac exodus still might sting a little. Safari and Keynote aren't bad starts. What's next?

Consider this a call to arms, Boston-area Mac fans: MacMinute noticed that Apple has officially set the grand opening date for the Apple Store Chestnut Hill, and the magic day is a week from this Saturday. So fire up iCal, grab a red Sharpie, and make a big red circle around June 14th^*. If you've got anything else scheduled that day, like a major organ transplant or a mandatory meeting with your parole officer, cancel it. Some things are just far more important.

See, since this is the third Apple retail grand opening in the Boston vicinity (fourth, if you count Rockingham Park over the border in the Granite State), the novelty's pretty much worn off by now, so we're concerned that the Chestnut Hill shindig might wind up lacking a little something. Like enthusiasm. Or customers. So we're hoping that by giving you over a week to plan, you'll be able to find time to pry yourself away from whatever it is you people do on Saturday mornings (probably what... cartoons or something, right?) and drag your butts on down to support the team. The gates open at 10 AM sharp; bonus points go to those who show up more than two hours early. Double bonus points if you paint pro-Apple propaganda on your face and/or bare chest.

Needless to say, the AtAT staff will be there, hopefully in full, but at least in part. Unless there's something good on TV. Actually, you know what, screw it-- we've got TiVo. We'll be there come rain or shine. Unless our parole officer calls, or that kidney comes through. See? Now that's commitment. As usual, we'll be handing out free AtAT stickers to folks who say hi, so keep your eyes out for the sleep-deprived geeks in the AtAT t-shirts. The one with shifty eyes may be dragging a dialysis machine behind him.

^*You know, we really shouldn't have to tell you this, but that was a joke. If you really go ahead and draw a big red circle on, say, your $2000 Apple Cinema Display HD, you will ruin it. "Badly?" you ask. "No, actually, very well," we answer. So just don't. And if you do, sue us and we'll smack you.