TV-PGSeptember 30, 1999: Kihei is coming sooner than you think. How's Tuesday suit you? Meanwhile, the rumors of a Blueberry-only low-end Kihei may herald the return of Best Buy to the Mac fold, and ZDNN's lack of taste is showing again...
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 
Coming Soon(er) (9/30/99)
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It's pretty safe to say that the cat's out of the bag on this whole "Kihei" deal. In fact, we'd go so far as to say that the cat's nowhere near the bag; once the alleged photos of the new iMac leaked onto the web and Apple's lawyers started handing out cease-and-desist orders like they were AOL sign-up disks, the cat had left town to start a new life, clutching a restraining order preventing the bag from coming within 500 feet of it ever again. What we're saying, in our own adorable grind-a-cliche-into-dust sort of way, is that by now, anyone with an Internet connection and more than a passing interest in Apple Computer knows that there's a new iMac waiting in the wings that's got lots more under the hood than the current version. And for better or for worse, nothing Apple or its lawyers can do is going to change that.

Well, actually, there is one thing Apple can do to contain the damage. They can release the Kihei, thus transforming widely-leaked company secrets into publicly-announced commonplace knowledge (not to mention free advertising). And apparently that's exactly what they plan to do this Tuesday; longtime faithful viewer Steve Pissocra was the first to point us towards a new "Special Apple Event" page posted at the QuickTime site. Live from Cupertino, it's Steve Jobs, ready to entertain and delight. While there are no details on just what will happen at this "event," if you think the new iMac won't be unveiled, you qualify for the Pessimism Hall of Fame.

So Kihei appears to be arriving sooner rather than later, less than five short days away. As for whether Apple always planned on an early October release date or they felt forced to move the schedule up to contain the leak damage, well, that's anybody's guess. But the details on Apple's revised consumer system continue to worm their way through Cupertino's lead-and-kryptonite walls. Take NoBeige, for example: now they've got what they claim to be the pricing on the three new iMac models: $949 for the Blueberry entry-level system, $1099 for the fruit-flavored mid-range models, and $1499 for the super-hefty Graphite unit. Will those prices turn out to be correct? We don't know-- but we expect we'll find out once Steve takes the stage on Tuesday.

 
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Best Buy Yet Again (9/30/99)
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Let's face it: Apple's relationship with national retail chains has always been at least mildly dysfunctional, and occasionally it teeters precariously on the verge of outright psychosis. Way back in the "scary days," display-model Performas in Sears and Best Buy were neglected, abused, ridiculed, and served more to dissuade potential Mac purchasers than to entice them. So when Steve retook the helm, we can't say we were surprised when he severed ties with all national retailers except for CompUSA; more than anything, we suppose we were mildly puzzled that CompUSA made the cut, even with the "store-within-a-store" deal, because some CompUSAs are about as Mac-friendly as a coked-up Bill Gates tripping on his mammoth and chemically-enhanced ego. (Note: the preceding simile was used for dramatic effect only, and is in no way meant to be construed as a serious claim that Bill Gates' mammoth ego is the result of illegal drug use.)

Anyway, the CompUSA partnership turned out to be at least mildly worthwhile, and after the iMac captured the hearts and minds of consumers across the globe, it's no surprise that Sears and Best Buy came crawling back. So far, Sears' performance has been lackluster at best-- they've broadcast one TV ad for the iMac, which was great, but the iMac presence in Sears' Sunday newspaper circulars has been limited to two measly appearances, and we're hearing rumors that iMac sales at Sears have been absolutely abysmal. And the Best Buy re-alliance was, as you know, a complete and utter disaster. As reports stacked up describing Best Buy sales personnel openly ridiculing iMac-interested customers, the corporate end wasn't too helpful either. First they panicked when they didn't see iMacs flying off the shelves (um, maybe they should have asked their sales folks why...) and lowered the price to well below Apple's minimum advertised price, prompting widespread reseller panic. Later on, they threw a snit fit when the iMac came in five colors, and rather than stock all five, they decided to stop selling the iMac altogether. Welcome to Splitsville-- again.

But wouldja believe Apple and Best Buy are about to give it yet another try? At least, that's the hot rumor amid all the Kihei stuff floating around; the reason that the "low-end" Kihei is only available in Blueberry is reportedly so that Best Buy will actually agree to stock it. So there's a chance that once the new iMacs start shipping, consumers will be able to buy sub-$1000 Blueberry iMacs in Best Buy. What do you think-- third time's the charm?

 
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Never So Insulted (9/30/99)
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(Note: As of Friday, 10/1/99 at 11:45 AM EDT, the egregious error referred to in the following scene has since been corrected by ZDNN. If you missed it, sorry about that, but a kind anonymous soul sent us a screenshot.)

Here's a question for you... While surfing the 'net for tech news, do you ever push your mouse aside, sit back in your swivel chair, stare at your browser window, and wonder just what in blazes those ZDNet guys are smoking? Yeah, us too. The latest example of this phenomenon happened to us not two hours ago, when a faithful AtAT viewer who's requested anonymity told us to take a look at the main ZDNN News page. The top story is called "New iMacs hitting launch pad," which is actually a decent MacWEEK article-- but what freaks us out is not the fact that the story is listed as a "scoop" (we've seen all that info elsewhere), but rather ZDNN's choice of graphic to display next to the headline.

It appears that for a story about a new iMac, ZDNN didn't want to display a photo of a current model, because that wouldn't be edgy enough. On the other hand, if they posted one of the leaked Kihei photos, Apple's legal department would be on them in a Cupertino minute. Instead, they evidently decided to play it safe by showing a photo that may seem strangely familiar to longtime Apple watchers; yes, right under the words "new iMac" is a picture of Future Power's Wintel-based iMac rip-off, the E-Power.

Done rolling your eyes yet? Good. Now, try to set aside the mind-numbing incorrectness of showing an E-Power and calling it the new iMac just for a second. What's really insulting is the implicit suggestion that Future Power's copycat of the original iMac should be considered progress. Sigh. What would Steve say? Incidentally, Future Power quotes a "late October" ship date for the E-Power, which means Apple will probably get the new iMac out the door before Future Power ships their first-generation rip-off-- even assuming the courts allow the E-Power to be sold in the first place.

 
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