Coming Soon(er) (9/30/99)
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It's pretty safe to say that the cat's out of the bag on this whole "Kihei" deal. In fact, we'd go so far as to say that the cat's nowhere near the bag; once the alleged photos of the new iMac leaked onto the web and Apple's lawyers started handing out cease-and-desist orders like they were AOL sign-up disks, the cat had left town to start a new life, clutching a restraining order preventing the bag from coming within 500 feet of it ever again. What we're saying, in our own adorable grind-a-cliche-into-dust sort of way, is that by now, anyone with an Internet connection and more than a passing interest in Apple Computer knows that there's a new iMac waiting in the wings that's got lots more under the hood than the current version. And for better or for worse, nothing Apple or its lawyers can do is going to change that.

Well, actually, there is one thing Apple can do to contain the damage. They can release the Kihei, thus transforming widely-leaked company secrets into publicly-announced commonplace knowledge (not to mention free advertising). And apparently that's exactly what they plan to do this Tuesday; longtime faithful viewer Steve Pissocra was the first to point us towards a new "Special Apple Event" page posted at the QuickTime site. Live from Cupertino, it's Steve Jobs, ready to entertain and delight. While there are no details on just what will happen at this "event," if you think the new iMac won't be unveiled, you qualify for the Pessimism Hall of Fame.

So Kihei appears to be arriving sooner rather than later, less than five short days away. As for whether Apple always planned on an early October release date or they felt forced to move the schedule up to contain the leak damage, well, that's anybody's guess. But the details on Apple's revised consumer system continue to worm their way through Cupertino's lead-and-kryptonite walls. Take NoBeige, for example: now they've got what they claim to be the pricing on the three new iMac models: $949 for the Blueberry entry-level system, $1099 for the fruit-flavored mid-range models, and $1499 for the super-hefty Graphite unit. Will those prices turn out to be correct? We don't know-- but we expect we'll find out once Steve takes the stage on Tuesday.


 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 

The above scene was taken from the 9/30/99 episode:

September 30, 1999: Kihei is coming sooner than you think. How's Tuesday suit you? Meanwhile, the rumors of a Blueberry-only low-end Kihei may herald the return of Best Buy to the Mac fold, and ZDNN's lack of taste is showing again...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 1816: Best Buy Yet Again (9/30/99)   Let's face it: Apple's relationship with national retail chains has always been at least mildly dysfunctional, and occasionally it teeters precariously on the verge of outright psychosis. Way back in the "scary days," display-model Performas in Sears and Best Buy were neglected, abused, ridiculed, and served more to dissuade potential Mac purchasers than to entice them...

  • 1817: Never So Insulted (9/30/99)   (Note: As of Friday, 10/1/99 at 11:45 AM EDT, the egregious error referred to in the following scene has since been corrected by ZDNN. If you missed it, sorry about that, but a kind anonymous soul sent us a screenshot.) Here's a question for you.....

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1281 votes)
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