So here we are, scant hours before the official kick-off to Apple's Worldwide Developers Conference, and we have to admit that we're feeling a little underwhelmed about the whole thing. True, it holds the key to the Mac's future success as a platform, since this is the event at which Mac OS X becomes "a reality," but when you get right down to it, there just hasn't been all that much for Apple drama fiends to get jumping-up-and-down excited about. The likelihood of new toys being unveiled appears slim at best, and the rumors were so thin we're long since used up what enthusiasm they may have generated. But most deflating of all is the knowledge that, when Steve Jobs assumes that familiar Keynote Stance at 10 AM Pacific on Monday morning, we won't get to watch.

It's old news now that Apple chose this year's keynote as the first to be unavailable to the geographically and/or financially challenged. In the past, WWDC keynotes have always been webcast-- and before webcasting existed, they were at least broadcast via satellite so interested parties in diverse locales could still enjoy at least a thin slice of developery goodness. Word broke last week, however, that Apple's drawing its cards awfully close to its chest these days; not only has the flow of inside information been staunched by what we can only assume to be some pretty draconian and bloody leak-plugging measures, but the "no outsiders allowed" sign has also been nailed to the door of the conference hall. No satellite will beam Steve's reality-distorting glow to the far-flung faithful. Perhaps, as faithful viewer Josh suggests, Uncle Steve's feeling a mite portly these days and is avoiding that ten-pounds-adding camera. (We can just see him reviewing his last Macworld Expo keynote through the miracle of QuickTime's streaming-on-demand: "Avie, tell me truthfully-- my butt looks huge in that shot, doesn't it?")

Okay, we can understand that; we all have days on which we just don't feel our most attractive. But we at AtAT are personally just a little hurt that Steve is trusting some people not to judge him in his "fat jeans," but not us. According to a Holy Mac! article, there will be a WWDC keynote satellite feed, but the signal will be encrypted and therefore only available to "select individuals or corporations." Well, that settles it; we have no choice but to interpret the complete and utter lack of any sort of invitation in our mailbox as a personal snub. And after all the support we've given Steve over the years! We're not angry, Steve-- just terribly disappointed, that's all. Surely by now you realize that we, of all people, love you for what's inside?

The homogenization continues; just as Windows is the uncontested ubiquitous desktop operating system (oh, let's just face it), so too has Word finally become the "only" cross-platform word processor available. After four long years of little more than developmental life-support-- an eternity in technological terms-- Corel has finally pulled the plug on the Mac version of WordPerfect. According to a MacWEEK article, the company finally acknowledged the product's brain-dead status on Friday, noting that the once-competitive product had never even been made PowerPC-native. The first Power Macs shipped in 1994; a PowerPC-native version of WordPerfect would have been considered late for dinner even in 1996. To make its first appearance here in 2000 would be like showing up to eat after the restaurant's closed. And appearing in 2002-- Corel says "it would have taken another two years to develop a PowerPC version"-- is tantamount to arriving after the restaurant's been shut down, condemned, razed, and rebuilt as a babyGap.

If this decision is surprising, it's only because Corel has been almost pathologically reluctant to admit what all of us had known for years: that without some serious development support (which Corel has been unwilling to give), WordPerfect for the Mac has lingered as a mere ghost of what it could have been. Remember what Word used to be in 1996? If anything, the bug-ridden nightmare marketed under the name Word 6.0 was a wide open door through which someone should have walked in and stolen the Mac word processing market right out of Redmond's hands. Instead, WordPerfect missed its perfect chance, and Microsoft held its lead by sheer brute force; everyone else used Windows, and everyone on Windows used Word.

So WordPerfect is no more. And while there are certainly alternatives to Word in the world of Mac word processors, we doubt anyone would seriously argue that any of them will knock Microsoft out of the top spot, especially across platform boundaries. AppleWorks? It's nice, but its recent backwards step to version 6.0 isn't winning many friends-- and business users would never consider it "serious" enough, despite the fact that 99% of Word users probably never touch any features other than "bold" and "italic." Nisus Writer? It's Mac-only-- not a bad thing to be, when all's said and done, but as such it's never going to be "the" de facto word processor. No, at this point Word stands alone.

So what's next for Microsoft? We figure it won't be long before it makes "the" web browser, as well. After having seen what AOLscape considers to be a "preview release" of Netscape 6, we wouldn't be terribly surprised if, before long, AOL Time Warner announces that it is exiting the web browser market entirely and reassigning all of the Netscape developers to work on next-generation chat-room technology. Sure, there'll always be alternatives like iCab and Opera and OmniWeb, but we have a hard time believing that Internet Explorer won't be the de facto standard web browser soon. But don't get too bummed out; after all, The Best Is Yet To Come...

Meanwhile, the wheels keep turning on "Redmond Justice." Last week, following reports that Microsoft had asked Judge Jackson to throw out the government's entire breakup plan, the company apparently offered to accept a set of penalties on the spot in exchange. Faithful viewer Jason Mazzotta pointed out a nice writeup in Newsbytes which details Microsoft's oh-so-generous offer, which we'd encapsulate thusly: "Hey Judge, tell you what. Toss out all that breakup nonsense, and we'll accept a set of injunctions right here and now. Specifically, we'll accept our own set of remedies-- you know, the ones the government called 'inadequate' and full of loopholes. But take us up on this, and it'll all finally be over. Keep pushing that breakup plan and we'll be haunting your nightmares for the next seven months at least."

You know, we just have to assume that Jackson was sorely tempted; spending so many years listening to Microsoft's silly courtroom antics must be the litigation equivalent of being forced to watch every episode of Small Wonder back-to-back. But as of yet, Jackson hasn't taken the bait. And given the government's response to Microsoft's offer-- what Time Daily refers to as "a yawn"-- our own behind-the-scenes sources tell us that the company is secretly preparing another proposal to whip out as a last-ditch effort should a breakup turn into an unavoidable certainty.

Specifically, Microsoft plans to counter the government's plan-- which proposes that Microsoft be split into two companies, one to make operating systems and the other to make applications-- with a breakup plan of its own. If things get ugly, Microsoft will ask that it be split into three companies. The first will handle operating systems, most applications, online services, Internet appliances, and computer peripherals. The second will consist of an elite team of six programmers dedicated solely to developing and maintaining the point-of-sale software for all Chick-fil-A locations. The third will consist of a guy named "Doug" who delivers the interdepartmental mail and does a little light cleaning. Will Judge Jackson see this plan as an effective remedy to atone for past sins and prevent future infractions? Stay tuned...