So here we are, scant hours before the official kick-off to Apple's Worldwide Developers Conference, and we have to admit that we're feeling a little underwhelmed about the whole thing. True, it holds the key to the Mac's future success as a platform, since this is the event at which Mac OS X becomes "a reality," but when you get right down to it, there just hasn't been all that much for Apple drama fiends to get jumping-up-and-down excited about. The likelihood of new toys being unveiled appears slim at best, and the rumors were so thin we're long since used up what enthusiasm they may have generated. But most deflating of all is the knowledge that, when Steve Jobs assumes that familiar Keynote Stance at 10 AM Pacific on Monday morning, we won't get to watch.

It's old news now that Apple chose this year's keynote as the first to be unavailable to the geographically and/or financially challenged. In the past, WWDC keynotes have always been webcast-- and before webcasting existed, they were at least broadcast via satellite so interested parties in diverse locales could still enjoy at least a thin slice of developery goodness. Word broke last week, however, that Apple's drawing its cards awfully close to its chest these days; not only has the flow of inside information been staunched by what we can only assume to be some pretty draconian and bloody leak-plugging measures, but the "no outsiders allowed" sign has also been nailed to the door of the conference hall. No satellite will beam Steve's reality-distorting glow to the far-flung faithful. Perhaps, as faithful viewer Josh suggests, Uncle Steve's feeling a mite portly these days and is avoiding that ten-pounds-adding camera. (We can just see him reviewing his last Macworld Expo keynote through the miracle of QuickTime's streaming-on-demand: "Avie, tell me truthfully-- my butt looks huge in that shot, doesn't it?")

Okay, we can understand that; we all have days on which we just don't feel our most attractive. But we at AtAT are personally just a little hurt that Steve is trusting some people not to judge him in his "fat jeans," but not us. According to a Holy Mac! article, there will be a WWDC keynote satellite feed, but the signal will be encrypted and therefore only available to "select individuals or corporations." Well, that settles it; we have no choice but to interpret the complete and utter lack of any sort of invitation in our mailbox as a personal snub. And after all the support we've given Steve over the years! We're not angry, Steve-- just terribly disappointed, that's all. Surely by now you realize that we, of all people, love you for what's inside?