Meanwhile, the wheels keep turning on "Redmond Justice." Last week, following reports that Microsoft had asked Judge Jackson to throw out the government's entire breakup plan, the company apparently offered to accept a set of penalties on the spot in exchange. Faithful viewer Jason Mazzotta pointed out a nice writeup in Newsbytes which details Microsoft's oh-so-generous offer, which we'd encapsulate thusly: "Hey Judge, tell you what. Toss out all that breakup nonsense, and we'll accept a set of injunctions right here and now. Specifically, we'll accept our own set of remedies-- you know, the ones the government called 'inadequate' and full of loopholes. But take us up on this, and it'll all finally be over. Keep pushing that breakup plan and we'll be haunting your nightmares for the next seven months at least."

You know, we just have to assume that Jackson was sorely tempted; spending so many years listening to Microsoft's silly courtroom antics must be the litigation equivalent of being forced to watch every episode of Small Wonder back-to-back. But as of yet, Jackson hasn't taken the bait. And given the government's response to Microsoft's offer-- what Time Daily refers to as "a yawn"-- our own behind-the-scenes sources tell us that the company is secretly preparing another proposal to whip out as a last-ditch effort should a breakup turn into an unavoidable certainty.

Specifically, Microsoft plans to counter the government's plan-- which proposes that Microsoft be split into two companies, one to make operating systems and the other to make applications-- with a breakup plan of its own. If things get ugly, Microsoft will ask that it be split into three companies. The first will handle operating systems, most applications, online services, Internet appliances, and computer peripherals. The second will consist of an elite team of six programmers dedicated solely to developing and maintaining the point-of-sale software for all Chick-fil-A locations. The third will consist of a guy named "Doug" who delivers the interdepartmental mail and does a little light cleaning. Will Judge Jackson see this plan as an effective remedy to atone for past sins and prevent future infractions? Stay tuned...