Good news, folks: the iMac shortage is improving-- as long as you're buying directly from Apple. We're hearing from lots of viewers who ordered iMacs at the online Apple Store and who are now receiving their new toys right around Apple's originally-reported estimated delivery date. Better still, most Apple retail stores apparently have both high-end and mid-range iMacs in stock and ready to sell to anyone willing to incur still more crippling debt. Meanwhile, most Apple resellers can't even get within squinting distance of a new iMac, let alone get one for a customer, which prompts CNET to ask, "Is Apple stocking its own shelves first?"

Now, anyone who actually needs to think about this before answering is hurtling past "duh" and headed straight for "doy." Of course Apple is stocking its own shelves first. "But AtAT," you ask, "didn't Apple cross its heart, hope to die, stick a needle in its eye and swear on a stack of bibles that it would never, ever, under any circumstances snake merchandise for its own direct sales channels while the long-suffering resellers went hungry?" Well, uh, yeah... we're pretty sure we remember some sort of pledge to that effect. But desperate times call for desperate measures, you know?

We knew something was amiss two weeks ago when, after noting that none of the mail order Mac houses had any iMacs in stock, we called a few local Apple stores just to verify that they, too, were iMacless and fending off rabid customers with sticks. "Hi, do you have the new iMacs in stock?" The guy from Store #1 told us that, no, they didn't, and the waiting list was huge. Okay, pretty much what we expected, so we called Store #2. "Hi, do you have the new iMacs in stock?" we asked, expecting the same polite suppression of laughter and emphatically negative response. Instead, we got a "Yup." Which, of course, prompted in us a long pause, followed by, "Um... are you sure?" (There's your "doy" moment, right there.)

So, yeah, even two weeks ago some Apple retail stores had several iMacs in stock, with more showing up every day. Meanwhile, CNET reports that the supply for Mac sellers whose names don't start with an "A" and rhyme with "Snapple" just keeps on getting worse: distributor TechData's backlog is now up to 15.5 weeks, up from 10.7 weeks just seven days ago, while Ingram Micro's backlog has climbed to a mind-numbing 19.2 weeks. Needless to say, the resellers aren't exactly leaping about with joy. Some are apparently talking about possibly even going out of business. Yeeks.

There's no question that the resellers have a valid complaint, but given the stark reality that there aren't enough iMacs to go around, we really can't say we're surprised that Apple has been funnelling them into its own stores. The retail initiative is under intense scrutiny, especially after having lost money last year, so a lack of merchandise in Apple's own boutiques would surely raise some disapproving eyebrows among investors and analysts alike. That doesn't make the situation any less slimy, of course, but for better or for worse, the shareholders have to come first. All we can say is that we really hope these production woes let up soon and suddenly there'll be iMacs stretching as far as the eye can see... whole herds of them, sweeping majestically across the plain. Any day now, right?

Man, peer pressure's a pain, ain't it? We're sure it can't be easy being the Mac Business Unit at Microsoft, what with the rest of the company always pressuring it to try scary and potentially dangerous new things. You know that Windows crowd, always letting viruses in through gaping security holes because "all the cool kids are doing it"; well, this time they're trying to get the MacBU to commit to the company's next octopus arm in the Great Cephalopod of World Domination: .NET. So far the Mac-centric unit's response to embracing that architecture has pretty much been, well, ".NOT"-- an admirable position which would do any mother proud. But how firm is its resolve?

Faithful viewer Matt tells us of a Think Secret article which indicates that "the MacBU is not all that thrilled with the Mac doing .NET," but due to pressure from the bigger kids, so far the unit has tentatively committed to a compromise: two upcoming versions of Office for the Mac, with one hooked into .NET services, and one standing alone just like today's. But the "rest of Microsoft is pressuring the unit into a widespread adoption of .NET," even as the MacBU would apparently be happiest leaving it entirely alone. "Microsoft doesn't know where to go," claims "a source." Will they or won't they? Yeesh, it's like an ABC After School Special about the dangers of PCP, or maybe an episode of Degrassi Junior High. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

By the way, if you've been hearing about .NET for years now and you're still wondering just what in blue blazes it is in the first place, don't feel bad; you're not alone. According to Microsoft, it's a platform to "allow applications to communicate and share data over the Internet," which leads to "seamless, compelling experiences." A seamless and compelling experience from Microsoft? Whoa, someone is on PCP. Stick to your instincts, MacBU, because if exposure to .NET leads to blithely tossing around phrases like "seamless, compelling experiences," it's clearly something you want to think twice about putting in your system. (We don't even want to get into this business of "laying fat pipes"-- parents, lock up your kids after dark!)

Oh, wait; scratch that whole innuendo about .NET being Microsoft's attempt to put a chokehold on Internet services the same way it's throttled other markets-- we forgot, we're not bashing Microsoft anymore. Didn't you hear? The company just promised that it's going to be behave from now on. They promised. So unless the inimitable Mr. Ballmer had his fingers crossed behind his back when he addressed a German audience at the CeBIT show yesterday, well, this is clearly the beginning of a whole new era for the Redmond company.

Yes, according to a BBC News article forwarded to us by faithful viewer Derrick, Steve Ballmer (looking uncharacteristically jolly and un-Frankenstein's-Monster-like in the supplied photo-- why, he looks almost human!) actually got up onstage to admit that Microsoft had a "less than perfect track record as far as trustworthiness went." For that, Ballmer won the coveted Understatement of the Year Award, narrowly edging out an Ohio fast food employee who recently asserted that accidentally submerging his entire head in the deep-fryer for a full twenty seconds "really stung like the dickens."

Ballmer then solemnly went on to make "a promise of better behavior towards competitors and governments" and claimed that Microsoft's employees "need to be a responsible leader for [their] industry" and "have to be a respectful, open, and appropriate competitor." Well, heck, that's all we wanted to hear! Now that Microsoft has clearly seen the light, Judge Kollar-Kotelly can sign off on that "Redmond Justice" settlement (which does far less to restrict Microsoft's anticompetitive behavior than that long-awaited promise will), those nine stubborn hold-out states can drop their case, and Sun can stop suing Microsoft for over a billion dollars for making Windows XP incompatible with Java (as noted in a Salon article pointed out by faithful viewer Helen) and buy everyone in the company a celebratory Slurpee, instead.

For our part, in light of these recent Ballmer epiphanies, we here at AtAT have pledged never again to cast aspersions on Microsoft's commitment to fair competition, to imply that the quality of its products would bankrupt any company without an iron death-grip on the industry, or to draw comparisons between Steve Ballmer and a shaved ape, some sort of radioactive sweat-mutant, or a pro wrestler who really let himself go after the crystal meth addiction. We promise. Just like Microsoft.