All Out To Get Us (10/29/98)
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Hooray, the conspiracy theories continue! Just a few days ago in "Redmond Justice," it became clear that Microsoft was developing a penchant for paranoia and unlikely plots against their success. At that time, Microsoft's lawyer John Warden claimed that the Justice Department had been deliberately suppressing evidence in an attempt to bring down the software company. He looked even more paranoid when he put forth his theory that the infamous June 1995 meeting that is such a crux in this case was in fact a "setup" planned by Netscape and the government in an elaborate attempt to entrap Microsoft into committing illegal antitrust activities.

We hoped it wasn't a one-time thing, and now we know it wasn't. According to reports, the latest conspiracy theory from Warden proposes that America Online "conspired with Netscape to drive [Microsoft] out of business." That's right, he apparently claimed in court that AOL and Netscape were in cahoots to shut Microsoft out of the Internet business entirely. An Associated Press article has some delicious details. As evidence, Warden produced several email messages which he interprets to indicate that AOL and Netscape planned to divide the market for Internet software; AOL would handle the consumer segment, Netscape would handle the server market, and Microsoft would, well, shrivel and die or something.

We love where this is going; so far every witness that the government has produced is a representative of a company that Microsoft has claimed belongs to a conspiracy to drive them out of business. Which means that since Apple software wünderkind Avie Tevanian is due to take the stand shortly, we're just itching to hear who conspired with Apple to kill Microsoft. Sun, perhaps? Or maybe it'll be a bigger surprise, like Adobe? It might be a little while before we find out, however, as next up on Redmond Justice appears to be Bill Gates' big videotaped head. Stay tuned...

 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 10/29/98 episode:

October 29, 1998: Homer Simpson signs up for an Intel-sponsored brain transplant, but perhaps Apple can persuade virtual celeb Lara Croft to push PowerBooks. Meanwhile, Microsoft's paranoia grows, as they claim that AOL was conspiring with Netscape to shut the software company down...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 1114: Butterfinger? Pentium! (10/29/98)   D'oh!! Apple may have snapped up Jeff Goldblum to push the iMac, but Intel has signed an arguably more recognizable star to shill for its Pentium II processors. According to an Intel press release, on November 8th the world will see Homer Simpson receive a brain transplant of sorts; his infamously-subpar cerebrum will be surgically replaced with a Pentium II, transforming him from a loveable dimbulb into a brainiac college professor...

  • 1115: PowerBook Raider (10/29/98)   Of course, just because Homer Simpson has signed with Intel doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of other recognizable animated entities available to endorse Apple products. We at AtAT are thinking that Apple should look beyond the television sphere and go for a slight variation on that demographic...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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