Poor, poor Apple... one can't help but feel sorry for a company who's had such a long string of poor retailer relationships. We really thought that Apple had turned the corner in late 1997, when it finally cut ties with all the store chains who treated Macs with a resounding lack of respect; after showing those clowns the door, Apple was ready to settle down and build a solid, healthy relationship. The result? About a year and a half ago, Apple and CompUSA tied the knot when they announced that CompUSA had become the sole nationwide retail outlet for Apple's products. Though things got off to a slightly shaky start, overall we got the impression that both companies were quite happy with their relationship.

But now rumors are flying that the honeymoon's over and the marriage is on the rocks. Interestingly enough, the current turbulence isn't due to Apple's recent attempts to form additional "partnerships" by reconciling with old flames Best Buy and Sears; CompUSA seems perfectly at ease with Apple's roving eye (perhaps in part because those "other guys" will only sell iMacs, while CompUSA gets the whole Apple enchilada). Instead, the rift reportedly stems from CompUSA's unwillingness to live up to its wedding vows. According to Apple Insider, CompUSA had promised to love, honor, and obey "a number of strict contract requirements" about how the Apple store-within-a-store is run. (Sounds like a pre-nup to us.) In particular, CompUSA agreed to have Apple-certified staff available in every store at all times-- and it's come to Apple's attention that plenty of CompUSA stores are not complying.

Earlier this month, fed up with the mockery being made of its relationship, Apple (in the personification of Steve Jobs) made it clear to CompUSA that it was time to shape up or ship out. The rumored deadline for 100% compliance is March 31st; Apple plans to pull all of its merchandise from any stores still not playing ball, and will withhold the delivery of all product until the situation is rectified. Holy Lysistrata, Batman! We're keeping our fingers crossed for a happy ending, but in this world there simply are no guarantees whenever Apple retailer relationships are concerned.