Warm Up The VCR (3/29/99)
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If we weren't already really excited about Pirates of Silicon Valley, we sure are now. For those of you just tuning in, we're talking about TNT's upcoming made-for-cable movie about Steve Jobs and Bill Gates; until now, we hadn't heard a whole lot about the focus of the project, other than the fact that it follows the destinies of the two wunderkind back when they forged their respective world-changing companies. Knowing only that (and, of course, the delectable casting choices of ER's Noah Wyle as Jobs and 80's geek extraordinaire Anthony Michael Hall as Gates) was still enough to get us psyched for the premiere in June.

However, thanks to an Associated Press article about the movie, now we know a bit more about what to expect-- and it sounds like a rollicking good time. We were originally a bit concerned that Pirates' recipe would contain a smidge too much documentary and not nearly enough soap opera. Not anymore; any movie that includes "a hippie Jobs tripping on acid spouting endless spiritual platitudes" and Gates "tripping over himself trying to meet women at a roller rink" is okay by us. Creator Martyn Burke wisely chose largely to ignore the facts about the history of Apple and Microsoft, instead focusing on what really matters: "the ambition, the greed, the envy, the cunning." Indeed, ignoring facts sounds absolutely central to the success of the project, to the degree that Burke actually forbade Wyle and Hall from meeting the real-life Jobs and Gates. One doesn't want those facts getting in the way of one's artistic vision.

So start organizing those TV parties for June 20th. Trust us: one day you'll be telling your grandchildren about the first time you saw Anthony Michael Hall as Bill Gates "unapologetically bashing Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen's car with a bulldozer." You'll thrill to Wyle's Jobs as he "berates a tie-wearing job applicant for looking like an IBM employee." And, for those of you who weren't in that Macworld Expo keynote audience booing away when Jobs announced Apple's new "partnership" with Microsoft in 1997, soon you can live the horror through the magic of trashy made-for-cable TV movies. Oh, our cup runneth over...

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 3/29/99 episode:

March 29, 1999: Tensions may be running high between Apple and CompUSA. Meanwhile, TNT readies its made-for-cable portrayal of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, which looks to be a hoot and a half, and the Melissa virus cripples the Windows world, though Macs generally emerge unscathed...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 1428: Roll Over Aristophanes (3/29/99)   Poor, poor Apple... one can't help but feel sorry for a company who's had such a long string of poor retailer relationships. We really thought that Apple had turned the corner in late 1997, when it finally cut ties with all the store chains who treated Macs with a resounding lack of respect; after showing those clowns the door, Apple was ready to settle down and build a solid, healthy relationship...

  • 1430: Pretty Name, Nasty Virus (3/29/99)   If, for some reason, you needed another reason to shake your head sadly and pity those poor souls who use Windows, look no further than the Melissa virus. You've undoubtedly heard about this thing; even though it only surfaced last Friday, it's spread so quickly that it's actually getting TV coverage...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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