Ask the Magic Eight Ball (4/5/99)
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You people are relentless! We get a lot of viewer mail here at the AtAT studios, covering a wide range of topics-- everything from "your show has changed my life, so I've taken a vow of silence to show my support and I've sent you all of my worldly possessions" (by the way, to "Speechless in Des Moines"-- thanks for the stereo!) to "I can't believe you're wasting your young, vibrant lives cranking out this pointless drivel" to "make three million dollars your first year licking stamps in the comfort of your own home." And yet, by far the most viewer mail we get seems to be along the lines of "I'm planning to buy an iMac, but I hear there's a better version just around the corner. What's up with that?" (Actually, okay, we admit it-- we get more mail of the "licking stamps" variety. Hey, who doesn't?)

Well, here at AtAT Studios and Personal Computer Purchase Consultants, when it comes to insider iMac news, we're going to have to borrow a page from Apple's big heavy book and issue a blanket statement of "no comment." However, entirely unlike Apple, we're perfectly willing to comment on the aforementioned "no comment." Basically, it comes down to this: we just don't know. And beyond that, we're going to hazard a wild guess and say that very, very few people outside of Apple's walls know, either. Sure, some of those insiders talk, at the risk of getting a pink slip shoved through the backs of their skulls by an irate and ninja-trained Steve Jobs, but it's entirely possible that most of that insider info comes from insiders who are misinformed, deliberately fed false rumors to catch leaks, or just plain not insiders at all. Them's the risks of trading in the rumors biz.

That said, we can tell you that rumors sites like Apple Insider, who generally have a pretty good track record as far as this stuff goes, are still expecting a 300 MHz iMac to surface sometime towards the end of the month, possibly sporting a revamped flavor palette (with Banana replacing Tangerine and Cherry bumping Strawberry). And on top of that, now the "legitimate" tech press is getting into the act. CNET, for example, is claiming that "industry sources" tell them to expect a speed-bumped iMac running at 333 MHz showing up on store shelves within the next couple of weeks. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to determine whether the sheer volume of these rumors indicates a certain level of truth, or whether it's just the same rumors being repeated and amplified by several sources. Our personal take on the whole thing? Well, keeping our "no comment" firmly in mind, we'll casually let slip that we wouldn't be at all surprised to see a slightly faster iMac hit the shelves sometime between two and six weeks from now-- after all, Apple revised the iMac twice in five months, and it's been three months since the last upgrade, so we figure they're about due. But we sure wouldn't put any money on it.

 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 4/5/99 episode:

April 5, 1999: Who knows what iMacs lurk in the labs of Cupertino? (We sure don't.) Meanwhile, Apple sweetens the deal for G3 buyers, much to the chagrin of those of us trying to save our money, and MarketSource is hiring part-time help to help turn Best Buy into a real iMac reseller...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 1444: The Rationalization Game (4/5/99)   Mac owners will totally understand what we mean when we talk about the Excuse to Buy™. The Excuse to Buy is what one tries to concoct when rational justification of the expense of buying a new Mac simply isn't going to happen...

  • 1445: Insurmountable Odds ROCK (4/5/99)   What's the world's easiest job, in terms of sheer "nothing-to-do-ness"? Hot dog vendor at the National Vegetarian Society conference? Nope, it's iMac wrangler at Best Buy. Considering that almost all Best Buy stores no longer even have any iMacs to sell, and rumor has it that no new iMacs will be hitting the shelves before May, there just doesn't seem like a whole lot for an Apple rep to do there short of lounging around in front of the PC's and urging people not to look...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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