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Scary White MikeDell (10/18/99)
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Okay, it's time for someone to sit down with Mike Dell and have a little talk. This obsession with trying to turn Dell into the next Apple has gotten just a little bit out of hand. We accepted Dell's announced plan to ship colorful, Internet-ready PCs to "cool" consumers with a certain amount of resignation; after all, everyone and his grandmother is copying the iMac in hopes of duplicating its runaway success, so we can't really fault Dell for that. But when they announced consumer-targeted laptops available in two colors, well, that infringes just a little too closely on the iBook's territory. Then there was Dell's rush to slap a wireless networking option on their notebook computers-- right about when AirPort was making a media stir.
We understand that all of these moves can be seen as nothing more dangerous than an unimaginative industry tycoon trying to capitalize on Apple's innovations at every turn. After all, Mike Dell's a smart guy; he probably sees how Bill Gates became the richest man in the world by shamelessly ripping off Apple's products, and figures that he's hit upon a surefire recipe for success. But Dell's latest "homage" to Apple isn't really an innovation-stealing business move; it's more of a scary obsessive-compulsive self-destructive sort of thing. According to an Associated Press article, not a month after Apple publicly announced that they'd make less money than expected for the quarter, Dell has issued its own earnings warning-- blaming higher RAM prices for its stumble.
So now Mike Dell is even trying to emulate Steve's slip-ups. Copying Apple's successes is one thing, but copying its failures, too? That's just plain creepy. Honestly, we're really starting to think that Mike Dell wants to be Steve Jobs. To-do list for Steve:
- Rent Single White Female on DVD.
- Watch it on your PowerBook. Twice.
- Hire bodyguards. Big, mean ones.
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SceneLink (1852)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 10/18/99 episode: October 18, 1999: Apple's issued a ROM update for owners of Power Mac G4/400 systems; suppose it disables G5 upgrades? Meanwhile, Mike Dell takes his copying of Steve Jobs to frightening new depths, and Microsoft's recent anti-piracy rally falls flat...
Other scenes from that episode: 1851: Greeks Bearing Gifts (10/18/99) As you are no doubt aware, after several real and imagined cancellations, reinstatements, flip-flops, and reversals, Apple has finally settled on an actual, honest-to-goodness policy on how to handle Power Mac G4 pre-orders placed before the new, slower models were announced... 1853: What Would Mulder Do? (10/18/99) Poor Microsoft; it seems like Bill and his minions are having a tough time scraping up sympathy from users about the growing problem of rampant software piracy. According to a San Francisco Chronicle article, the company recently threw an anti-piracy party known as "Ask If It Is Licensed" which turned out to be an utter flop...
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