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What Would Mulder Do? (10/18/99)
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Poor Microsoft; it seems like Bill and his minions are having a tough time scraping up sympathy from users about the growing problem of rampant software piracy. According to a San Francisco Chronicle article, the company recently threw an anti-piracy party known as "Ask If It Is Licensed" which turned out to be an utter flop. Granted, the methodology of the event was questionable; Microsoft asked customers who were using pirated copies of their products to stop by and turn in their illegal copies for free, fully-licensed versions. No one came-- at least, not to turn in software. Apparently a few people showed up for free t-shirts, though.
Microsoft attorney and "chief anti-piracy enforcement official" Anne Murphy was "disappointed" with the event's failure, but really, is anyone surprised? Microsoft is well-known to be the closest thing to Orwell's Big Brother we've got in this world; unique identifiers secretly embedded in Word documents, fragments of personal and financial data hidden in your Excel spreadsheets, that whole "NSA key" conspiracy theory, and so many security holes in Microsoft Internet software that even the most trusting soul has to wonder how they could all be innocent mistakes. So let's think about this for a moment... Microsoft asks people who are ripping them off to show up in person, trade in the illegal software for a fully-licensed copy, and walk away with no punishment? Yeah, right. So now Microsoft has your admission of guilt, your fingerprints on the illegal software, and your photograph taken by the undercover shills they've scattered throughout the crowd (if there had been a crowd). And that free copy of Office you got in exchange is now tracking your every move. C'mon, would you fall for this?
In fact, to see the level of gullibility it takes to show up to a Microsoft-sponsored "We Forgive You-- Really" party, look no further than the guy who took advantage of the shindig to picket Clinton. Frank Chu kept trying to get in front of television cameras with his sign that read, "Impeach Clinton. 12 Galaxies Guiltied to A Techtronic Rocket Society." He "explained" his sign by saying that "Clinton has freely committed treason against 12 galaxies." Uhhhh, thanks for clearing that up, Frank. Now it's crystal-clear. See what we mean by "gullible"? Everyone knows that the twelve galaxies are being wronged by Queen Elizabeth, not Clinton. Geez...
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SceneLink (1853)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 10/18/99 episode: October 18, 1999: Apple's issued a ROM update for owners of Power Mac G4/400 systems; suppose it disables G5 upgrades? Meanwhile, Mike Dell takes his copying of Steve Jobs to frightening new depths, and Microsoft's recent anti-piracy rally falls flat...
Other scenes from that episode: 1851: Greeks Bearing Gifts (10/18/99) As you are no doubt aware, after several real and imagined cancellations, reinstatements, flip-flops, and reversals, Apple has finally settled on an actual, honest-to-goodness policy on how to handle Power Mac G4 pre-orders placed before the new, slower models were announced... 1852: Scary White MikeDell (10/18/99) Okay, it's time for someone to sit down with Mike Dell and have a little talk. This obsession with trying to turn Dell into the next Apple has gotten just a little bit out of hand. We accepted Dell's announced plan to ship colorful, Internet-ready PCs to "cool" consumers with a certain amount of resignation; after all, everyone and his grandmother is copying the iMac in hopes of duplicating its runaway success, so we can't really fault Dell for that...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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