Somebody Call Guinness (2/13/00)
SceneLink
 

Way back at the dawn of time, before AtAT was even the germ of an idea rattling around in some nut's head, the AtAT staff lived in a dorm that was riddled with cockroaches. Really, the bugs in that building could overwhelm the entire student population by sheer biomass alone if they had ever decided to attack en masse. And even before that, Yours Truly once lived in a condo with a massive roach problem; one day the condo association fumigated the whole building, and walking back into the place after the bulk of the poison had wafted out was like tromping through some horrible roach catastrophe. Hundreds of dead roaches littered the floors and countertops. I never thought I'd see so many bugs again. And yet, this is all nothing compared to the number of bugs lurking in the still-unreleased Windows 2000.

If you live a Windows-free life, get ready to laugh out loud like we did, and if you're one of the poor sods who's actually going to have to work with the beast formerly known as Windows NT 5, brace yourself for a fierce crying jag: faithful viewer Jerry O'Neil pointed out a Sm@rt Reseller article claiming that, by Microsoft's own count, there are over 63,000 bugs in Windows 2000. Sm@rt Reseller claims to have gotten hold of an internal Microsoft memo, in which a Windows development leader is quoted as saying, "Our customers do not want us to sell them products with over 63,000 potential known defects. They want these defects corrected. How many of you would spend $500 on a piece of software with over 63,000 potential known defects?" (To be fair, only 21,000 of those bugs are classified as "real problems." Feeling better?)

Let's see, here... by our count, Microsoft's still got three days before the official launch. If the company really wants to ship a bug-free product (they claim that's their goal for the "next release), they only need to stomp just over fourteen and a half bugs a minute. That actually sounds possible, given their vast resources. Then again, we're talking about Microsoft, here-- the company makes a ton of money off of "upgrades" that fix bugs that shouldn't have shipped in the first place, and on service fees spawned by those selfsame bugs. Still, 63,000... That's not exactly subtle, is it? At least now we know why this version of Windows is so darn late: they've evidently spent the past three years slapping in as many bugs as humanly possible. We estimate that Windows 2000's code base is at least 79% bugs-- a new world record. Congrats to the team from Redmond!


 
SceneLink (2094)
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

As an Amazon Associate, AtAT earns from qualifying purchases


 

The above scene was taken from the 2/13/00 episode:

February 13, 2000: Steve bites back, claiming that FreeMac was not prevented from buying iMacs in any way. Meanwhile, Macworld Expo Tokyo is nearly upon us-- what goodies does Steve have in store? And by Microsoft's own count, Windows 2000 is buggier than an ant farm...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2092: Foreign Objects Allowed (2/13/00)   Uh-oh, it's time for another exciting game of "He Said, She Said"! Yes, folks, fingers are pointing every which way, and accusations fly following FreeMac.com's transmogrification into NadaPC.com. If you've been tuning in, you know that FreeMac.com's Jonathan Strum claims that Apple absolutely refused to let him buy the one million iMacs he planned to give away-- even at full retail price...

  • 2093: New Toys For Everyone (2/13/00)   It's funny, we've never been all that excited about a Tokyo Macworld Expo before. Then again, maybe it's not so surprising; Apple never announces shiny new products at an overseas event, so the keynote at the Tokyo Expo has traditionally been a rehash of the San Francisco keynote that took place a mere six weeks before...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this Ď90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
Iím trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(148 votes)

DISCLAIMER: AtAT was not a news site any more than Inside Edition was a "real" news show. We made Dawson's Creek look like 60 Minutes. We engaged in rampant guesswork, wild speculation, and pure fabrication for the entertainment of our viewers. Sure, everything here was "inspired by actual events," but so was Amityville II: The Possession. So lighten up.

Site best viewed with a sense of humor. AtAT is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Keep hands inside car at all times. The drinking of beverages while watching AtAT is strongly discouraged; AtAT is not responsible for damage, discomfort, or staining caused by spit-takes or "nosers."

Everything you see here that isn't attributed to other parties is copyright ©,1997-2020 J. Miller and may not be reproduced or rebroadcast without his explicit consent (or possibly the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but we doubt it).