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Past Due, Please Remit (4/18/00)
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Wuh-oh, looks like MicroAge is in for it now. We told you yesterday that Pinacor's parent company had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, but honestly we didn't think too much would necessarily come of it. Filing for Chapter 11 is as American as mom, apple pie, and claiming your goldfish as dependents on your taxes. (Don't worry, we won't tell anyone.) Everyone does it sooner or later, and it doesn't necessarily mean that the company's going out of business. In the short term, it means that most Apple dealers are probably going to steer clear from buying Macs from Pinacor and opt to patronize Tech Data or Ingram Micro instead. In the long term, if MicroAge gets its house in order, everything might just turn out okay.
At least, that's what we thought until we saw MacNN's latest update on the situation. As it turns out, MicroAge owes a sizeable chunk of change to our very own Apple Computer-- $9.1 million, give or take a buck or two. While you might think a multibillion-dollar company like Apple considers that chump change, you couldn't be more wrong. Remember, this is Apple we're talking about-- the company that fought its way back from the brink of death after hemorrhaging a billion dollars in a single calendar year. The lean years won't soon be forgotten. Sure, nine million's a drop in the bucket now, but it's the principle of the matter at stake; Apple didn't struggle back from almost certain financial collapse just to forgive unpaid debts. There's a reputation to protect, after all.
Which is why we're more than a little concerned for MicroAge's health. Not its financial health-- that's obviously shot to hell. No, what we're worried about is MicroAge's physical health, because we imagine that Apple's probably dispatching its collection department right about now. And the last time we heard from our nigh-unimpeachable sources, Apple's collection department consists of three rather large individuals all named "Guido" with a penchant for swinging large pieces of wood at fragile human joints. You think Apple won't put the hurt on MicroAge for a measly nine mil? You're sadly mistaken, my friend. Our advice to all of youse with "Three Pizzas" consumer loans? Keep making those payments. On time.
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 4/18/00 episode: April 18, 2000: Reports of attacks by disgruntled iBooks continue to pour in, including a grisly photograph showing a victim being gnawed on by no fewer than five of the little beasties. Meanwhile, MicroAge has more to worry about than bankruptcy proceedings, as Apple comes to collect the nine million it's owed, and Apple board member Larry Ellison stands poised to steal the title of "World's Richest Man" from that guy in Redmond...
Other scenes from that episode: 2236: Night Of The iBooks (4/18/00) When we issued yesterday's warning about carnivorous iBooks attacking unsuspecting users, little did we suspect just how widespread the outbreak had already become. Reports came pouring in from all over the globe from people who had suffered near-misses or witnessed full-scale attacks by Apple's seemingly friendly-looking consumer laptops... 2238: Lesser Of Two Evils (4/18/00) For all of you who find it galling that Bill Gates is the world's richest man, well, heck, you're not alone. C'mon, the guy's got the personal charisma of a turnip dipped in Dull Sauce. Even the true geeks of the world (and in case you're wondering, our hands are up) are more than a little chagrined that this besweatered dweeb croaking about "innovation" in his Kermit-meets-Marvin-the-Martian voice has enough money to buy the rest of the planet six times over, but he still won't shell out twenty bucks for a decent haircut...
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