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Thank The Leak Gods (4/23/00)
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Hoo, doggies-- sounds like the "Redmond Justice" writers are starting to come around to our way of thinking. Over the past several weeks, water-cooler whisperings have repeatedly hinted that the government would not seek a breakup of Microsoft, because such a "remedy" would be too drastic and likely wouldn't hold up on appeal. Instead, everyone following the rumors has been expecting a "you've been a naughty industry juggernaut, don't do that again" sort of penalty, perhaps with required open-source software and governmental monitoring of all business practices, etc. And frankly, that disappointed us to no end, because an ending like that just lacks drama. It's been a wild ride all along, full of thrilling swoops and hair-raising curves, and seeing this whole thing end with anything less than an attempt at a corporate death penalty just wouldn't be fitting.
So, as you can well imagine, this latest round of rumors has us warming up our VCRs. In case you haven't heard, the grapevine's now reporting that a Microsoft breakup is in the cards. We read about it over at The Mac Observer, who apparently heard the skinny from CNBC. According to these latest rumors, the government will propose that Microsoft be split into three "babysofts": one company will work on operating systems like Windows and Pocket PC, another will crank out applications like Office and Internet Explorer, and the third will be an "Internet services company"-- MSN, WebTV, and the like. And if that's not wacky enough, there are also rumors flying that the government will try to force the company to sell off Microsoft Office "in order to spur competition in the productivity market."
See, that's the kind of edge-of-your-seat writing that keeps us coming back for more. Even if the government's actual recommendations this Friday aren't nearly so drastic, we can at least revel in the short-term aftermath-- after-hours trading after the rumors broke shows MSFT spiralling out of control. Oh, sure, we've seen "Redmond Justice"-triggered stock market plunges before, but we think we can stand at least a couple more of them before it gets old. (At broadcast time, Microsoft's stock had tanked-- down nearly twelve points, or over fifteen percent, and the rest of the market was following suit.)
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SceneLink (2247)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 4/23/00 episode: April 23, 2000: Poor Steve-- smacked with number six in Worth magazine's list of the top fifty CEOs. Meanwhile, Apple contemplates whether it's worthwhile to sue a company making translucent computers shaped like fish, and the market's in for another beating as rumors swirl that the government will seek a Microsoft breakup after all...
Other scenes from that episode: 2245: Someone Needs A Nap (4/23/00) Uh-oh, we sense tension. Can you feel it? It's like a vast, pulsing wave of indignant anger. Even if you don't feel it yourself, you might be able to witness its effects on your local wildlife; the bunnies in our back yard are stomping around with little frowns, which would be rather disturbing if it weren't so gosh-darned cute. According to our readings, this snitquake ranks a 7.8 on the Crabby Scale, and the epicenter would appear to be Cupertino, California. Only one man alive has the innate empathic amplification necessary to throw a snit fit on the West Coast and spook the wildlife in the greater Boston area... 2246: What's Next-- LemurPC? (4/23/00) To sue, or not to sue? That is the question-- the question that Apple's had to ask itself a lot over the past couple of years. Back when the original Bondi Blue iMac was first unveiled, we recall more than a few snide remarks from the Wintel camp about how it would take more than pretty colors and translucent plastic to sell a computer...
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