Well, lookee here: according to an Apple press release, the company is now offering "instant financing" on all of its products, which will allow "qualified customers" to sink deep into debt through the solvency-destroying miracle of monthly payments. "Big deal," we hear you say; "Apple's had that for years. I know because I remember that guy who turned into the giant fly yammering on about pizzas or something." Ahhh, but you are mistaken, Grasshopper. Yes, Apple did have a consumer loan that was touted by Jeff Goldblum in the infamous "less than three pizzas a month" commercial, but it wasn't exactly "instant" unless you happened to be in an actual brick-and-mortar store. If we recall correctly, online purchasers applying for the loan had to download an application, print it out, fill it in, and snail-mail it to the loan sharks for the privilege of being on the receiving end of the Usury Stick. The process often took up to two weeks to complete, which wasn't good for Apple, since that's plenty of time in which a customer might come to his or her senses and choose to pay the rent instead.

This new loan program, however, does seem to be truly "instant." Now, if you place an online order at the Apple Store, you can apply for the loan right over the Web and "receive immediate notification at the point of purchase" of whether or not they'll let you forfeit your three pizzas a month for an iMac DV+. So now it's easier than ever to impulse-upgrade to the latest Mac gear while simultaneously saddling yourself with an ever-increasing mound of crippling debt. Ain't technology grand?

Whoa, hey, buddy-- where ya goin'? Don't let that itchy clicker finger go nuts just yet; don't you even want to know what interest rate you'll be paying? Apparently Apple isn't too keen on telling you, either, since the press release makes no mention of the rate customers will pay to MBNA, the bank handling the loans. But if you visit Apple's loan page and read the teeny tiny print at the bottom of the screen, one sentence might leap out at you: "Your APR may be as high as 26.99%." Maybe it's just the overly-frugal nature of the AtAT staff, but 27% sounds like an insanely high interest rate for anything. Frankly, we're almost surprised that it's legal.

True, you'll probably only get the 26.99% rate if your credit report looks like you bled all over it and then ran it through a wood chipper, and if you're a hale and hearty consumer in good capitalist standing, you may even qualify for the 14.99% rate which appears to be the minimum. Still, our protective streak just wanted to warn you folks to make sure you find out exactly what you're getting into when you go buy your next Mac. If you need to spread the cost out over time, we imagine your bank, credit union, employer, or even one of your credit cards might be able to beat MBNA's rate, which could save you hundreds or even thousands of dollars. Just explore your options before you "sign" anything, either on paper or online. (The preceding has been a public service announcement from AtAT.)