AAPL Upgraded To "Cute" (8/10/00)
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Okay, so Apple's stock isn't quite the runaway success story it was five months ago. Back then, analysts were tripping all over each other to upgrade their ratings on AAPL, as the price kept creeping skyward beyond all reasonable hopes. These days, though, the stock is hovering at the $50 mark, just about two-thirds of its all-time high. That's still about seven or eight times its low point back in 1997, and almost twice what it was a year ago, but it's not stunning Wall Street the way it used to.

Personally, we blame the analysts and their excessively dull rating system. "Sell." "Buy." "Hold." "Neutral." "Market perform." Now, is that any way to drum up interest in the stock market? That's why we were tickled pink to find a Reuters article reporting AAPL's latest upgrade: Paine Webber has "raised its rating on shares of Apple Computer Inc. to attractive." Attractive! Now we're cookin'; that's far more appealing than the sterile "buy." Granted, it's still rather clinical and cold, but it's a step in the right direction.

Hopefully other analysts will follow suit, and take the trend even further. We want to see AAPL rated as "spiffy." Or "radiant." Or even "sexy." If the idea catches on, perhaps in a few months we'll see Lehmann Brothers upgrade AAPL to "enchanting," while Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse First Boston will both opt for "gorgeous." The danger, of course, is that someone like A.G. Edwards and Sons will lose the faith and downgrade AAPL to "a face for radio" and the sell-off will begin...

 
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The above scene was taken from the 8/10/00 episode:

August 10, 2000: The upcoming tell-all Steve Jobs biography has hit a few hurdles-- is our favorite iCEO calling in a few favors? Meanwhile, Apple introduces a new instant loan featuring online approval and truly frightening interest rates, and Paine Webber breaks the mold and sees AAPL's inner beauty...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2473: Publication Perils & Pitfalls (8/10/00)   Does everybody remember that unauthorized biography of Steve we discussed a couple of weeks ago? Alan Deutschmann's The Second Coming of Steve Jobs isn't even scheduled to hit the shelves for another month, but it's already kicking up more than its share of dust...

  • 2474: That's A Lot Of Pizzas (8/10/00)   Well, lookee here: according to an Apple press release, the company is now offering "instant financing" on all of its products, which will allow "qualified customers" to sink deep into debt through the solvency-destroying miracle of monthly payments...

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