If you're leaking inside Apple info, you may want to duck and cover-- the Does are sprouting names. Earlier this month, when Apple filed suit against "John Doe 1" and claimed that "John Does 2 through 25" acted as accomplices, we were amused that the company was actually suing twenty-five people it couldn't identify. The plan became clear very quickly, though, as Apple used its newly-filed lawsuit to subpoena the records of Yahoo! in an attempt to learn the true identity of "John Doe 1," who had posted Apple trade secrets under the pseudonym "worker bee." By grabbing Yahoo!'s records, Apple hoped to identify the individual who had signed up for worker bee's Geocities accounts, at which point an amended lawsuit targeting a human being bearing an actual name would be just a global-search-and-replace away.

Well, according to faithful viewer David Schwartz, that time has come. He pointed out a CNET article which reports that Apple has just amended its lawsuit to name the secret identity of "John Doe 1." While CNET "chose not to publish the name because Apple would not confirm whether he is the only employee with that name," the important stuff to note here is that "worker bee" is an Apple employee (and therefore was bound by confidentiality agreements that he flagrantly violated), and that Apple apparently now knows exactly who the loose-lipped "resident of Santa Clara County" is. Which means that "worker bee," aka "John Doe 1," is officially neck-deep in stinky stuff and sinking fast.

As for the other twenty-four "John Does" out there, if any of you are tuned in and watching, it's worth noting that "Apple said it will continue to investigate whether others may have been involved." Given that John Doe 1 may opt to sing like a canary before he drowns in raw sewage, may we suggest that now might be a great time to explore the fascinating realm of witness protection-style identity modification? Some new papers printed up at the local Kinkos, a few quick whacks of the plastic surgeon's knife, and you're off to foreign lands unknown. What could be more glamorous?